Homesick

Sometimes here in Texas I feel restless. I get so excited when we take a trip back up to Blue Springs (my hometown) or even to Tulsa (where Philip and I met and went to college). I walk around the familiar streets of my formative years and wonder if I'll run into someone I know. I feel this vaguely hollow sensation, hoping I'll run into someone to reconnect with. I fantasize about moving back home to Missouri.

But the truth is, the desire I feel is not really a desire to return to my childhood home, it is a desire for my future home. The one I was made for, Heaven. I feel unsettled and nomadic here because I am supposed to. God wired me to feel discontent here because He wants me to be mindful of my true citizenship. He wants me to feel a little uncomfortable and out of place here to remind me that I will only fit in at His place.

Lately, eternity has been weighing heavily on my heart. I've been watching my children and realizing my time with them is so short. While some days it can seem like at eternity until nap time, in reality I have precious few years to mold and prepare them. Before I realize it they will be taking flight and I must be diligent to prepare them well.

In the same vein, my time here is so short. And while I will have all of eternity to reap the rewards of faithfulness on Earth, I must be diligent to use my time wisely.

Someday I will be home for good. In the place where all my discontent is soothed and my restless heart is still. I pray that God would help me to stay focused on that day and work hard preparing for it.