Educating as unto the Lord

We've been homeschooling for 5 years now.

Five full, wonderful, stressful, exciting, exasperating, joyous, delightful years.


And next year, we're taking a new direction.

My boys are headed to public school.  Our plan has always been for them to go with Philip when they are in 5th & 6th grades (for those who don't know, my husband is a mad scientist/teacher at a local intermediate school).  Nate wasn't quite ready last year, so he's heading off with Daddy for 6th grade.

And the little boys, well, that's another story.  Gabriel went to speech pre-K this year at the elementary school. And he thrived.  His behavior has improved so much (and we actually understand him when he speaks!)  So we are sending him and Luke to the elementary school next year for K and 1st.  They are excited and I am praying that more structure will help Luke in the way it has helped Gabe.

Which leaves me home with my girls.  I'll have a 2 yr old, a 2nd grader and a 4th grader.  I am so thrilled that I will have more time with Anna before she heads off with Philip to 5th grade the next year.  I am determined to teach Abigail to read - a challenge for both of us as she struggles with dyslexia.   Thankfully I'll have the carrot of "more time for crafts" to dangle before her!  And finally, I am delighted that I can thoroughly and completely enjoy my last go-round with the terrific two's as Leah Claire heads into the world of preschool.

I've even found a new homeschool enrichment co-op (though I will miss my SACC friends mightily) that will allow me to have 5 whole hours to myself each week.  (Imagine shopping alone!  Or taking a nap!)

But I've gotten a lot of flack from friends about this arrangement.  As if I have given up on my children and ceded them to the devil.  As if homeschooling is God's perfect design for children and public school is satan's playground.  

But I think that's silly.

God never said that we must homeschool.  Sure, there is Deuteronomy 6:7, which says of God's laws, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  Which homeschool zealots take to mean that we must have our children with us 24/7 so we can teach them God's laws.

But we have to remember that this command was given at a time when most children were with their parents 24/7 anyway.  And most fathers and mothers worked in the home.  We make a mistake when we read more into a verse than was originally meant.  When we read condemnation when it was not intended.

I believe the whole counsel of God is clear.  We should be teaching our children to love Him, follow Him and obey Him.  But homeschooling is not the only way to do that.

I also believe that we should be preparing our children to function at the fullest of their capabilities in a modern world.  That means giving them opportunities for academic excellence.  It means not using the cop-out "what really matters is that they love the Lord.  As long as they know the Bible, it doesn't matter if they know physics or chemistry."  Because academic excellence and a heart for God are not mutually exclusive.  The God who created our minds is glorified when we use them to our best ability.  And He is shamed when we waste them for some sham of holiness.

I have to admit, after 5 years, I have realized that I cannot do it all with excellence.  I cannot teach all 5 of my school aged kids to the level that I would like (at least not at this point).  I refuse to short-change my kids because of my pride.

I hear "we have all our homeschooling done by noon" and "it only takes 2-3 hrs per day" on homeschool blogs all the time.  But that isn't how it has looked for us.  We start in the morning and I'm usually finishing with the last child at dinner time.   We have been using an inclusive curriculum (Tapestry of Grace) that allows us to do many subjects together.  But there is no getting around the fact that math, reading, grammar, writing and spelling have to be done individually.  And when your dyslexic child's reading level is not the same as his comprehension level, you must read aloud most of his work.

Something's gotta give.

I want my children to love God wholeheartedly, but I also want them to be fully educated and prepared to do the things He has for them.

Homeschooling is a blessing.  But so is our educational system.  I challenge other moms to look honestly and prayerfully at the job they are doing with their kids and realize that putting your child in public school does not mean you have failed.  It may just be one path God uses to grow your child and educate him.  His Hand is not limited by your limitations.

If you cannot do it with excellence, maybe you need hand off the baton.  And that is okay.  I realize this may sound a bit judgmental, but I am getting so weary with the homeschool rhetoric.  When I hear moms say things like, "Well, we were busy last year with the new baby, so we just didn't do math," it makes me sad.  And angry.  (Especially when the new babies come every year or so.)   Raising your child to love God doesn't mean short-changing them educationally.

Or at least it shouldn't.

Who am I performing for?

So these past few weeks have been frustrating.  I have so many different people telling me so many different things about how to run my home and teach my children.  Many of my friends have been chiding me about "doing too much" and telling me to take it easy, saying that the kids are fine and I don't need to worry. 

Other friends and family have been telling me that my children are "behind" or "socially awkward" (I won't bother pointing out that we know our oldest is behind due to his dyslexia and are spending loads of time and money to help him.  Nor shall I ascend my soapbox to pontificate ahout how homeschool  is always assumed to be the cause of misbehavior by homeschoolers, but public school is never blamed for social awkwardness in its denizens.) 

Another family member told me that he was concerned that homeschooling seemed to be more about my identity as a homeschooling mom than about what is best for my children.

Last night I was about ready to throw in the towel.   Take the kids down to Glenn Harmon and enroll them today.  Heck, Gabe qualifies for speech preschool 5 days a week, so I could just have the baby for two days a week and just Luke and Leah for 3.  And with all the people on both sides telling me how I am failing, it might be a relief to shove off the responsibility on someone else.  I fantasized about free time to sew, and clean house, and run errands with just a kid or two.

But I'm not ready to do that.  In my heart I know that this is the path God has for our pfamily right now.  Even though it would be easier to take the normal route, it is not what God has chosen for me.  And I have to remind myself of who my audience is. 

It's not my homeschooling friends.  If at some point we decide to pursue other educational pathways for our kids I know some of my friends will think I have missed God's leading and will be disappointed in me.

It's not my friends or family that blame all my kids' issues on homeschooling.  They do not have to answer to God for me.

It's the Lord.  He alone is the One I have to answer to.  The only One whose approval I should crave.

Now, it is wise to consider counsel.  It is always prudent to take criticism to the Lord and ask Him if there is anything valid or applicable in it.  But ultimately, we should be more in tune with His leading and His voice than the voices of the crowd.  

Have I told you how much I love my tub?

Well, not mine exactly. I mean, I'm a little big for it.

But I got this baby tub with Gabe and it just rocks.

True, most of the time I just bathe Leah in the tub with me, but she's getting more head control and really loves the water. So I whipped out the washpod today and she was so happy. She was smiling a bunch, but her smiles are brief and hard to capture.

Oops!

So I know I promised to blog every day. Well, last night I came home from work, lay down in my room to nurse Leah and fell asleep. But, to be fair, I did blog in my sleep. I'm not kidding! In my dream I wrote the most awesome, epiphany-filled blog entry. But I could not remember for the life of me what it was about when I woke up. Kind of like the time I invented a card game called Margaritaville in my sleep and made a boatload of money. When I woke up I couldn't remember the rules to my super awesome game either. Sigh....

So here is another picture of the World's Cutest Baby to make up for my early napping.

In which I practice great self control in Target

Just a funny story for today.

Yesterday I was at Target with Leah and the older three kids. Leah was riding tummy to tummy in a ring sling. She is obsessed with looking up at the ceiling fans, lights and sparkly faux ornaments at Target. I had my hand behind her head, supporting it, though she has quite a bit of head control already.

Out of nowhere this stranger runs up, grabs my hand and pushes it up, shouting "Oh my goodness, you have to support her head! Is this your first baby?"

I was quiet for a minute and said, "No, she's actually my sixth."

The lady stares at me and says, "Oh, well didn't they teach you that?"

I just glared at her until she walked away.

At which point Nate turns to me and says, "I'm really proud of you, Mommy, for not slapping her. She was an idiot."

On the lighter side - guess who's two months old?

Miss Leah Claire!



Sometimes I am just amazed. I sooooo don't deserve a baby this sweet. God is amazing - His plans for us are so much bigger and better than we could ever imagine.

As far as my other goals this week? Well, I DID get out of bed with the alarm this morning. But as I was shaving my legs the power went out. Just came back on a little while ago. So we adjourned to the backyard most of the day and enjoyed the sunshine. 68 degrees! Woot!

I will do my quiet time tonight, but first dh and I have a hot date to go get a new dishwasher. Because ours has turned into a dishdirtier. And that's not good.

Homeschooling, special needs, preschool and punching friends

I have a lot on my plate. (And if I ever forget this, I'm sure a stranger will remind me that I "sure have my hands full" next time I go to Costco). This is our fourth year of homeschooling. Last year was the first year that I really felt like we hit our stride. Of course, having Leah right at the beginning of this school year kind of threw a wrench into the works, but we are slowly getting back on track.

Our oldest son, Nate, is dyslexic. He is 10 and reads on a first grade level. For the first two years that we homeschooled (and the year he went to public K) I beat my head against the wall trying to teach him to read. We tried so many curriculums and strategies. Finally, last year he was tested at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children and diagnosed with dyslexia. Since then we have made a lot of progress towards reading well. But Nate still needs a lot of help.

Abigail shows some of the same tendencies that Nate did at that age. After over a year of phonics instruction she still does not recognize all of her letters. So I anticipate that she may need reading help as well.

Our two little boys, Luke and Gabe, both have severe speech delays. (Can I tell you how much I cried when Gabriel finally said, "I love you, Mama" for the first time last week?) They attend walk-in speech therapy at the local public school twice a week, but it was recommended that Gabe attend full time speech preschool.

There's only one me. And with a new baby, I am limited. So we made the prayerful decision to enroll Luke and Gabe in preschool two days a week. It will help with their speech issues and give me more time to intensely focus on schooling the older three, especially Nate and Abby.

But do you know what some of my homeschooling friends said? They were appalled that we would send our babies away. Even for 10 hrs a week. "If God wanted our babies to be put in school they would be born in classrooms instead of families," one of them sniffed. And I wanted to punch the stupid out of her. In Christian love, of course.

You see, Philip and I are homeschooling right now because we have prayed and believe it is the best thing for our family and our children. But that may change later. Some of our kids may go to private school or even (gasp) public school. It depends on what God tells us each child needs.

Because we are not disciples of the homeschool movement.

We are disciples of Christ. And our educational goals for our children are simple. We want them to be well-rounded, well-read, capable servants of Christ who have the skills they need to succeed at the calling He has placed on their lives. Homeschooling is not the goal, it is the method that we are using right now on our path to raising our little ones to love and serve Him.

I'm BAAAACK!

So, you may be wondering where I disappeared to. For almost a year. Well, life got crazy.

I had a miscarriage.

Then got pregnant again. And was freaky tired. For months. And barfing.

And then I severed tendons in my fingers. And couldn't type.

Then I worked.

And then I had a gorgeous, amazing, adorable, all-around perfect baby girl. Five weeks early. So she eats. A lot. And all night.

But now she's almost 2 months old and I'm back. I promise to write SOMETHING every day this month. I DON'T promise that it will be awesome. But I'll try.

And here's my sweet girl.