More ER advice (Adults only)

Since it is summertime, I am working more while Philip is off from school. I am meeting some high class folks and want to share some wisdom I've gleaned from them.

Ambulances are awesome. But not the appropriate mode of transport to the hospital for your sore throat or runny nose.

I cannot tell if you are pregnant over the phone.

Nor can I diagnose your rash, tell you if your arm is broken or determine if you need stitches.

The ER doctor is NOT your primary care physician.

You did not get herpes from the toilet, you got it from sex, really.

You might need to reevaluate your life choices if you have to look in your date book to determine who might be the father of your baby.

A fever of 100.6 and 106 are two entirely different things. Decimals mean a great deal.

Abcesses or boils are generally NOT brown recluse spider bites. If you did not see a spider bite you, chances are a spider did not bite you.

I tell you that you are pregnant. You cry, "How did this happen?" Do you really want me to explain it? 'Cause I'm pretty sure the Immaculate Conception was a one time deal.

Vomiting one time does not mean that you need to go directly to the ER. Many people vomit and go on to live happy, productive lives.

If you are unhappy about your inability to afford a dentist for your 3 month toothache, perhaps you should stop smoking 2 packs a day, save the cigarette money and use that to pay the dentist.

Some holes are "out holes" and should stay that way, if you get my drift.

Tell us the truth about your injury. We will not believe you when you say you fell and accidentally had a plastic banana/glass bottle/lug wrench/etc shoved up your rear. We are not that dumb.

I'm sure there are more wonderful things I will learn from my patients this summer. So stay tuned.

Just some free advice! (PG 13 rated)

I have to share you some wisdom I've gleaned in my years as an Emergency Room nurse (Warning, not for young eyes!)

There are some things you should not bring to the ER with you. Unless it is truly necessary (a parasite that you passed, etc) leave it at home! Here are the top few things I've seen (and didn't want to):

Urine in a pickle jar
A Gladware container full of stool
The tip of someone's finger, still in the glove he was wearing when it was ripped off by the machine
A LIVE snake in a milk carton (kill it first, please!)
A wild boar that had tusked a man - his family had gone out and stabbed it to death and hauled it in the back of their pickup.
Multiple Kleenexes full of phlegm, showing the progression in color of the woman's chest congestion.

Other free advice:

If your head hurts, try a Tylenol before immediately running to the ER.

It takes antibiotics 48-72 hrs to work. Don't run back to the hospital when you're not better the next day.

It is a staph infection, not a staff infection.

Douching with Coke is not birth control.

If you notice a funky smell "down there", check to see if you left a tampon in at the end of your last cycle.

Speaking of tampons, no, your tampon cannot escape and float freely in your abdomen. If you can't get yours out, squat down and try again.

You have to actually fill your prescription and take it for the medicine to work. Just having the piece of paper really doesn't do anything.

There is no cure for stupid.

The ER does not do "check ups" or immunizations.

Tylenol is not a one time deal. Yes, you may have to give your baby more than one dose during the course of his illness. The fact that his fever returns 6 hr after you last dosed him does not mean he is deathly ill.

Try to use correct terminology on your triage forms. Especially if you are going to leave it face up on the table so God and all His people walking by can read it. We really don't need to read about your illness in X-rated terms.

There is a magical place called Walgreens. They sell pregnancy tests for cheap. So does The Dollar Tree.

Make a list of your medications and keep it in your wallet. I really DON'T know what you are talking about when you say "I take the green pill and the white one."

If you have had abdominal pain for 2 yrs and show up at the ER with it, don't expect me to be in a hurry to help you. Obviously you have not been in a hurry to get it taken care of either.

Wounds must be sutured within 12 hrs. Putting bleach and duct tape on a wound does not count as first aid.

We live in Texas. It is summer. If you go out on your boat all day and drink beer in the heat, you will get sick. Really.

Lawn mower blades are sharp. Don't put your hand it it while it is running.

Table saws and narcotic cough medicines are a bad mix.

Yes, the man having the heart attack WILL go before you when you are here for a sore throat.

If you have not had a period in nine months, have gained 30 lb in your stomach area and are having severe abdominal cramps it is called labor. You don't have a tumor, you are having a baby. Really.

That's it for now!

Bad housekeeping

So, I'm not the best housekeeper. Our house is not a pit, but it will never grace the cover of Ladies Home Journal. And now, I have scientific data to back up my preference for "good enough" instead of perfect.

Scientists have found that rising rates of asthma and auto-immune disorders may trace back to having oversanitized our environments. Our immune systems are like elementary school boys. If we don't give them challenges and obstacles in the form of germs and dirt, they will over react to minor threats, causing us to be sick. This is one cause of the swelling tide of lupus, crohn's disease, asthma and severe food allergies. We're doing it to ourselves.

I'm going to cut this short and go vacuum. Or on second thought, take a nap.

CF

So a friend sent me a link to this blog: http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/. Pretty amazing stuff. I'm sort of addicted to checking in to see how Tricia and Gwyneth are doing and be encouraged by Nate.

CF is something that has touched our lives. My husband's uncle died while waiting for his double lung tranplant. But he lived a full life into his early 50's and had two great kids. I never had the priviledge of meeting him, but I've heard stories that make me think he was a pretty swell guy.

My cousin has CF. She was told she would probably never have kids. 9 months after her wedding she gave birth to a lovely full term baby girl. A few years later she was blessed with a sweet little boy. She is a year older than me and doing so well.

Tricia, Nate and Gwyneth's story just reminds me of how incredibly blessed my family has been. Stacey, my cousin, is wonderfully healthy. How good God is!

God's will for me

So many times I have heard Christians lament, "I just don't know what God's will is for my life." I have even said it myself. I guess we are not familiar with His Word, because it is abundantly clear what His will is: " Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" ( I Thessalonians 5:16-18, bolding mine).

So what is God's will again? Simple: be joyful, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances.

How do we break that down though? I think they are all intertwined.

Be joyful.

Notice it doesn't say feel joyful, it says be joyful. This means to me that it is an act of will. I will get up this morning and choose joy. I will paste a smile on my face until it transforms my heart. Studies show that laughter actually makes you healthier (something that is not a surprise to God - see Proverbs 17:22). Choosing joy and choosing to laugh makes you feel better. A cheerful countenance makes you feel good. Then you smile even more. And then you feel even better. What a great cycle!

Give thanks in all circumstances.

Yes, I'm going out of order here, but there is a reason. This one has really been put to the test for me lately. As many of you know, we welcomed a lovely little boy to our household on August 24th. I had a history of two natural deliveries and two cesarean sections. I desperately wanted to have another natural birth. I saw a midwife and hired a wonderful doula to help me. I read stories about vaginal birth after cesarean and saw a chiropractor to improve his positioning. And in the end, my blood pressure shot through the roof and I ended up on the operating table again.

I was mad. I did not want another surgical birth. I wanted to pull my baby up onto my tummy and nurse immediately. I wanted our birth to be an intimate experience with as few in attendance as possible, not a show attended by 15+ hospital staff. And I did not want to go through the post-op pain of another major abdominal surgery. The more I dwelt on what I did NOT get, birthwise, the angrier I became. And the angrier I became, the more depressed and irritable I was. It got to the point where I felt physically sick to my stomach whenever I thought about Gabe's birth.

And then, as I was praying last week, I was reminded of this verse. God's will for my life is that I would be thankful in all circumstances. I began to think of all to good things that surrounded Gabe's birth.

First off, I am thankful for Gabriel himself. He is a gorgeous, sweet and easy going baby. His siblings are over the moon for him. He nurses like a champ and is getting so chubby and adorable.

I am grateful that my midwife and Philip were in the operating room the entire time. My hands were not tied down and I got to touch Gabriel right after he was delivered. I have video and film of the actual delivery. Gabe went with me to recovery and nursed immediately after I was finished being sewn up.

One bad spot in the delivery was when there was a mix up on the doctor's orders and I did not have pain medicine ordered post-op. After about 2 hours of crying hysterically, the situation was rectified and I was given pain medicine. But even this screw up gives me opportunity for thanks. Thank God there was eventual relief of the pain. Thank God we live in a country where medicine is available and the surgery was available.

My doula pointed out that there is a difference between disappointment and regret. I do not regret having a c-section. I believe it saved my life and Gabe's life. I am disappointed that I did not get the natural delivery that I wanted, but I can still choose thankfulness. And as I choose to reflect on the good and be thankful for God's providence, the disappointment is healing. As I embrace His way of thankfulness, He is healing my heart.

Pray continually.

I think the key to being joyful and giving thanks is praying continuously. In my own strength I am inadequate for joy and thankfulness. I have this fleshy bit in my me that wants to rise up and pout. I want things my way, and I want them now! But God has provided a way out for me. If I can lean on Him, I can escape my tendency towards ungratefulness and sullenness. He knows my heart. It is not news to Him when I tell Him that I cannot do it and ask for help. And day by day, minute by minute, I must ask if I am to win this battle. His mercies are new each day and His strength is sufficient.

So, pray with me today. Say, "Lord, help me to choose Your way of thankfulness and joy." Then suck it up, smile and choose to be grateful for all circumstances. Because this is God's will for you.

The lies of drug companies: how they get women's money coming and going

Up until the 19th century virtually all women breastfed their children. Then, in 1867, Henri Nestle founded the first formula company and concocted the first infant formula. While his original intentions were good (to provide nutrition for orphans and infants of mothers who truly could not produce milk), the formula industry has blossomed into a multibillion dollar a year cash cow and our breastfeeding rates in the US are dismally low. In the US 62.5 percent of women start out exclusively nursing in the hospital, but by six months only 14.2 percent are still exclusively nursing. A sad number, considering that both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months (at which point you may add solids to the diet, but should continue to give breastmilk as the main source of nutrition until a child is at least a year old.) Additionally, the World Health Organization recommends 2 years of breastfeeding as the bare minimum!

Breastfeeding is infinitely superior to formula. It is silly that we humans think we can try to copy God's design. Every time the drug companies isolate a new component in breastmilk and add it to the new formulas (like Enfamil Lipil with DHA/ARA) it just reaffirms the awesomeness of God's design. He made breastmilk to be the perfect food for our little ones and we will never be able to replicate it.

The formula companies put on a fine charade of being pro-breastfeeding, even giving out "breastfeeding success bags" at the hospital. These clever little bags contain a little booklet of tips for breastfeeding, and a large can of formula "just in case". Studies show that moms who start out breastfeeding and stop are more likely to continue to feed their child formula the entire first year, while many moms who start out on formula will switch to cow's milk well before the first birthday. So there is big money to be made by encouraging nursing moms to switch to formula. And even a few bottles of formula in the first few weeks can have drastic ramifications on a woman's milk supply, so making that easy bottle of formula readily available is an insidious trick.

What are the risks of feeding our children formula vs breastmilk?
Ear Infection- 3-5 times more likely with formula
Respiratory Infection - 2-5 times more likely with formula
SIDS - 3-5 times more likely with formula
Necrotizing Entercolitis - 20 times more likely with formula
Type I (Juvenile) Diabetes - 2-7 times more likely with formula
Diarrhea/Gastroenteritis - 6 times more likely with formula
Risks of Rheumatiod Arthritis, Urinary Tract Infections, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Allergies, Asthma, Obesity, Lymphoma and Hodgkin's Disease are all increased as well when formula is chosen over breastmilk. Additionally, children who are fed formula have IQ's that are 7-10 points lower than children who are breastfed, with the IQ increasing the longer a child is breastfed.

So, first, the formula/drug companies make money by selling formula. Then, they make money when we take our sick, formula fed infants and children for treatment of diseases caused by the formula. Are you getting nauseated yet? We haven't even looked at the risks to mom if she chooses not to nurse.

Moms who are gestational diabetics have twice the risk of developing Type II Diabetes if they do not nurse. They have 1.6 times the risk of developing ovarian cancer and twice the risk of premenopausal breast cancer. They also have increased risk of endometrial cancer, osteoporosis, post-partum hemmorhage and post-partum depression.

So the drug and formula companies really have an excellent business plan: Push the formula so we spend big bucks feeding our children an inferior product. Then make even bigger money treating the illnesses caused by the inferior products (both in the children and the mothers.) And many of the formula companies are owned by drug companies!

This baloney makes me sick. But I have seen the strangest phenomena when I present these facts to patients and coworkers. They get all defensive of the formula and drug companies. This makes no sense to me. I think I'd be hopping mad if I found out I'd been lied to and put my babies' and my own health at risk. But I guess the risk of feeling foolish or uneducated trumps the importance of examining the facts and calling for change.

(sources for this article include www.kellymom.com and www.mamadearest.ca/en/info/risk_and_costs.htm).