Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Stay down....

So, I was really getting in the groove in mid September. We were getting into a great rhythm with homeschooling, the house was staying relatively clean, and I was attending a fantastic Bible study ("Lord, I Need Grace Just to Make It Today" by Kay Arthur - totally amazing and life changing).

And then, the sickness started. I spent a total of 13 days in the hospital. My kids missed out on a ton of school time (though we can make it up easily since hs'ing takes much less time than ps). I missed Bible study. Philip and I ended up stressed beyond belief and floundering financially.

Sound like the work of anyone we know? Why are we surprised that when we get moving in God's direction we get attacked?

I was napping fitfully at the hospital and had a dream. I was fighting in a boxing ring. I kept taking these hard jabs to ribs and falling to the mat. Each time I would struggle back up and keep fighting. Finally I fell and didn't think I could stand again.

I heard a voice whisper in my ear, "Stay down. Don't get up. Just stay down and you'll be okay." And I was sorely tempted to throw in the towel.

That was not the voice of the Lord. It was the voice of the enemy. Satan wants us to give up. He wants to convince us to lay low and not struggle. I know God has amazing things to do through me for my family and the world. And I know the enemy wants to stop me from doing these things. He wants to convince me to give up, to stay down and be a mediocre Christian. He wants me to go through the motions and walk a shallow Christian life, filled with activity but lacking true relationship with Christ. He wants me to be an antagonist to my husband, and focus on our failures as a couple. He wants me to let our dead culture raise my children.

But he's not going to win. I will hold on. I will persevere. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to lay low, to not lead the charge and draw fire. But I know that when the enemy speaks, it is the language of lies, his native tongue. There is victory to be had if I will persevere.

To this end, I have posted encouraging Scripture around our house to remind me to press on. If you come over to see us, don't be surprised to hear us singing Scripture - my heart is weak and needs constant reminder of my purpose and God's promise.

The great thing is, I've read the Book. I know Who wins the fight in the end. I just need to do my best to stay in it and press on.


Manda said...

That is so true, Tamara. Thank you for the honest encouragement not to let Satan keep us down!

Kimberly Geswein said...

Keep the faith, Tam. You (on your own) may not be strong enough, but He can always be your strength. I appreciate your words today.

Jean said...

Great blog Tamara...hold on to the hand that holds tomorrow in His hand. Hug the kids and fight the fight, but be you must be wise as well....lots of good info on that in Proverbs. It is ok to push ahead spiritually, but physically is a different story.

love and hugs