Undignified

So there's a lady at my church that I'm always a little bit embarrassed for.

She's a little too loud.  And a little too flamboyant.  And dresses a little too young for her age.  And she praises a little off key and "amen"s a little too often and dances a little crazy.

And I always kind of wanted to shush her.

Until I heard her story.

How she was deeply addicted to drugs.  And sold her body to buy them.  And was estranged from her children.  And how she nearly died in her pit.

Until she was amazingly, completely, totally delivered by God.  How He drew her from the miry clay and set her feet upon a rock.

And I felt like Michal.  Who was ashamed of David when he danced before the Lord as they returned the Ark to Jerusalem.  And was barren.

And I repented and asked God to forgive me and not let me be barren in spirit because I was ashamed of someone else's joy and abandon before the Lord.  

Hopefully I've learned my lesson, but I know that tendency is always there.  To be critical of others because I am secretly jealous.  Because I wish I could be that free in worship.  I wish I could dance and not be concerned about what those around me think.  But I always hold back.

Maybe when I'm old and gray I'll feel free to be the crazy lady who sings too loud because she knows the pit her Savior has drawn her from.  But I really hope that day comes much sooner.