Monday, February 23, 2009

Faith amnesia

So, we've had a lot going on in our lives and in our marriage the last couple years. Lately, I'd been a bit depressed and discouraged. We've had some issues come to the surface in our marriage that just plain hurt. Sin in both of our lives was/is causing problems and I'd become a little hopeless. Wondering if things would ever change. If I could change. If he were willing to change.

Yesterday, I talked with a friend of mine. She has been through a lot in her life and recently was blessed with a huge miracle. Something that was just so improbable in the natural that it could only be an act of God. And yet, she is still worried. Still a bit fearful and anxious. And I was incredulous. How, when God is so clearly moving on her behalf, could she still doubt? And yet, don't I do the exact same thing?

I've been listening to a lot of praise and worship music online, trying to get some sort of breakthrough. I came across this and was on my face, on the floor, in tears. What was I thinking? How can I look at what God has done in my life and think my current troubles are insurmountable to Him?

Look at my kids! Five beautiful, smiling faces greet me every morning. And I was told that I may never have children at all! I had my first female surgery at 16 and had three more before we were blessed with Nathaniel. I remember the year we were trying to conceive Susannah. I wrote Luke 1:45 on my mirror and meditated on it daily ("Oh how happy is the woman who believes in God, for His promises to her come true.") We built this big ole house in faith, even though people thought we were nuts, because we believed that He would fill it up with children. And we found we were expecting Susannah the week we closed on the house. And still I doubt? God have mercy on my doubting soul.

I ran across this in my Bible yesterday, "He reached down from on high and took hold of me: he drew me from deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He has brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." (II Sam. 22:17-20).

Did you get that? He will rescue us, because HE DELIGHTS IN US! He who has been faithful all along will continue to be faithful. He is the same yesterday, today and forever and He will be faithful to complete that which concerns us! Hallelujah!

5 comments: said...

i like your new slide show that is neat :-) i will pray for you. yes, we have a lot to be thankful for. I just bought the movie "fire proof" and that was really encouraging for my marriage. I think its the best Christian movie out there yet. I've also been reading "created to be his helpmate" which has been good so far. Keep up your good attitude!! Remember the battle isn't just physical, its spiritual and praise and thankfulness is a powerful tool.

Tamara said...

Thanks, O.M. We just saw "Fireprood" a few weeks ago and were really challenged by it. It was very good. And I love "Helpmeet". Dh did the video for one of their conferences last fall and got to go to supper with Mike and Debi. He said she is really a neat lady.

Mellanie said...

Thanks for this Tamara. I needed this today.

Tamara said...

I have to comment on my above comment. After really prayerfully reading "Helpmeet" I cannot recommend it. It is not a grace-filled book and it is not the Gospel.

Tamara said...

I have to comment on my above comment. After really prayerfully reading "Helpmeet" I cannot recommend it. It is not a grace-filled book and it is not the Gospel.