Seriously?

So I've been writing about some of the teachings coming out of the conservative/fundamentalist church that I believe are, to varying degrees, toxic and extra-biblical.

I do agree that many of these ministries have some good things to say, and I have tried very hard to  judge only the teachings that they have presented and not the hearts or salvation of the teachers themselves.

But this really takes the cake.

When I read it I had to step back and shake my head in disbelief.

It seems that Doug Phillips, of Vision Forum, believes that it is murder to do surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy before it ruptures.  He thinks this is a tenable approach because one random woman in Australia carried an ectopic pregnancy attached to her ovary for nine months and gave birth via c/s to healthy baby girl.

It's good logic, you know, to make your case based on the strangest, most bizarre incident you can find (eyeroll).

What this man does not mention is the 40-50 women who die every year in the US from ectopic pregnancy.  What he does not mention is that there are very, very few cases of ectopic pregnancies making it to the age of viability.

I would contend that this man is dangerous, and, dare I say it - cruel.  There are well-meaning Christian families, many whom I know and love, who listen to Mr. Phillips.  And if any of them feel his condemnation and misguided classification of ectopic pregnancy surgery as murder, they could be putting their life in danger for no reason.

Has Mr. Phillips had miscarriages?  Has he wiped away the blood and had the cramps and cried the tears associated with the loss of life and a dream?  I have.  And I know many other women who have.  It is heartbreaking.

I've never experienced an ectopic pregnancy, but I have held the hands of women diagnosed with them.  As a nurse, I've cried with them as they were wheeled away to the OR for emergency surgery to save their lives.  I've seen the vital signs dropping as a woman bleeds out from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. I've pumped in the fluids and blood to try and save her.  I've watched her color turn grey and her skin become clammy as her life drains into her belly.  It can happen in minutes.  I've seen women go to sonogram and be diagnosed with an intact tubal pregnancy.  They can come back to their room and crash in just a few minutes.  "Watchful waiting" is not an option when you can bleed out in five minutes.

But in Mr. Phillip's theology, a woman who has life-saving surgery, knowing that there is no way the tiny life insider her can be saved, is a murderer.

And that is sick.  It is uncompassionate, rude, cruel and unkind.  Because these women are grieving the loss of their sweet babies, as well as usually facing reduced fertility due to the loss of the affected tube.  I cannot see the character of my Savior in a person who would condemn the grieving mom.  I see legalism, judgment and misogynism.  I see a man, who, for all his talk about valuing women, sees them as expendable. 


As the body of Christ, we should be weeping with those who weep and comforting those who are grieving, not heaping blame and condemnation on their heads.

Baby Unwise

I've really been enjoying Three Moms and a Podcast, a podcast where my friend Kaysie and two of her buds dish about different mothering issues.  A few weeks ago they talked about the-book-that-shall-not-be-named (aka, Babywise), and I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head regarding GKGW and programs of its kind.

I've mentioned it before, but when Nate was born, I thought this book was gold.  We followed it like it was child-rearing manna from Heaven.  Sure enough, he slept through the night by 8 wks, even though he was 4 wks early.  But at a very high price - his early sleeping habits, coupled with scheduled feedings during the day and a full-time night shift work schedule, cost me my milk supply.  By 5 months it had disappeared. 

We used the program again with Susannah.  And by 6 months I was struggling again.  I managed to make it to 9 months, supplementing heavily with formula, when I became pregnant with Abigail.  I tried nursing her while pregnant but she was no longer interested. 

Abigail's time at the breast started roughly.  She was born 7 wks early and was only 4 lb 7 oz when we brought her home from the NICU.  She never latched well and by 12 wks she'd weaned completely.

With Luke I was determined to do something different.  I knew that God had made me to nurse.  I had sweet toothless babies and breasts to feed them, but for some reason "God's way" wasn't cutting it.  I was drying up far before it was time for weaning.  So I went to a breastfeeding support group as soon as Luke arrived.  At first I was skeptical.  All these hippie ladies sitting in a room with nursing toddlers kind of scared me.  And when I mentioned how I didn't know how to boost my supply while doing Babywise, a hush fell across the room.

"You know," the lactation consultant (now my dear friend, Mellanie) said, "your baby didn't come with those instructions imprinted on him.  He just knows he's hungry."  I immediately went on alert.  I knew about those no-schedule, family-bed marsupial parents.  I'd been warned about them in my GKGW class.

But I kept coming back.  And I saw that these ladies really loved their kids too.  And many of them loved Jesus as well.  And that GKGW wasn't God's way.  It was a way that some Christians raise their children.  And while it wasn't wrong in and of itself, neither was it right or holy or somehow perfect. 

And I threw out the book.  I still kept the basic routine of eat-play-sleep, but I let Luke set his own schedule.  And he nursed past a year, almost all the way through my pregnancy with Gabriel.   Gabriel, too, nursed for over a year and my supply was plentiful.  Leah Claire is 8 months old.  She still wakes a couple times a night, but she's exclusively breastfed and happy.  My supply is abundant and since we cosleep it's not a big deal to drowsily nurse her in the night.  (Frankly, with the noise and craziness of our daytimes, it's a special time for the two of us).

My point is not that Babywise is one hundred percent wrong, though I do have serious caveats about a book that undermines natural milk production and made me numb my soul to my maternal instinct to comfort my child.  My point is that it is not God's way.  Neither is Sears', or Pantley's, or anyone else.

When we were born again, God filled us with the Holy Spirit.  As we became mothers, that same Holy Spirit empowered us to mother our children.  We must listen to the still, small Voice of the Father and ask Him how we should mother, not some silly book.  We should rely on the natural instincts that our Creator gave us to care for our little ones.  And we should pray, often and earnestly, that He would fill us to overflowing with knowledge and wisdom to raise our children in the way that they should be raised (this may come as a shock to you, but not all kids are the same - my kids might have different needs than yours.  That's why an omniscient God gave them to me!).

So let's give each other grace.  I won't call my way perfect or anoint it with the "God's way" moniker if you will do likewise.  Let's pray and support and encourage each other to seek the Father about raising all our kids to follow Him all the days of their lives.

Stay tuned - tomorrow I'll tackle No Greater Joy.  

(PS, thank you to my sisters for not punching me out, in Christian love, when I repeatedly gave them copies of the book.  You know, back when I thought it was God's way.)

(PPS, now I'M the hippie, co-sleeping marsupial mom)

I'm not Supermom.

Comments I often hear:

"Whoa! I could NOT handle that many kids."
"I could not handle homeschooling - I would kill them."
"You have that many kids and you still work part time? You must be Supermom."

The truth is, I am NOT Supermom. There are days when I wonder what the HECK I was thinking. Days when I want to drop them off at the nearest school and go get a pedicure. And a glass of wine. I often feel inadequate.

But remember a chapel speaker at ORU saying "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called." And I KNOW He has called me. I had my first female surgery at age 16 and didn't know if I would ever carry a child. But His Word says, "He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD." (Ps 113:9) And He has been so faithful in doing just that.

So why would He fail now? The only failure is in my lack of belief in His sustenance.

He has promised me all sufficient grace (II Cor. 12:9).

He has promised to lead me (Is. 40:11).

He has promised that my children will be taught of Him and have great peace (Is. 54:13)

So even though I joke when asked how I "do it all" (which I don't, seriously, you have not seen my bathroom!) that I function on equal parts Jesus and caffeine, the truth is that any goodness in me comes directly from Him. And the only way any of us can fulfill our calling well is through Him. By daily crying out to Him and trusting that He will provide what we need to excel.

The truth is that I don't have to be Supermom, because I have a super God. And I'm not trusting in my sufficiency, I'm leaning wholly on His.

making babies

I have friends with lots of kids. And I mean LOTS of kids. One friend has 15, one has 13, one has 11. Many of my friends have families that fall on the larger end of the modern spectrum. 4, 5 or 6 kids is a normal sized family amongst my friends.

Many of them follow the quiverfull movement, a movement that eschews any kind of contraception. They believe that we should give complete control of our wombs to God, an idea which sounds perfect in theory, but can break down in practice when we assume that ceding control means total inaction.

We always intended to have a large family.

But after Nate (severe PIH, gained 30 lb of fluid in the last week, kidneys failed, was induced and delivered a floppy, grey baby 4 wks early - thankfully he perked up quickly), people told us we should stop. I wondered if I could ever go through that again. I wondered if it would be foolish to try again.

And yet, I knew God had put it in my heart to bear more children. So we tried again. Had Susannah (preterm labor at 31 wks, PROM at 33 wks, delivery with chorioamnionitis at 34 wks), and then Abigail (PROM at 33 wks with a transverse lie, emergency c/s, chorioamnionitis again, NICU).

Everyone thought we were nuts when we got pg with Luke. But I did better (36 wk c/s) and then with Gabe I actually went term (38.5 wks, 2 cm separation in uterus, c/s, high blood pressure). My parents begged us to get a tubal. But we held on to what God had put in our hearts.

And had beautiful Leah by c/s at 35 wks. And a tubal ligation. Because I have people here who need me. And a big God who can grow my family by adoption too. And there is a difference between reacting out of fear and acting out of prayerful prudence.

My point is, go to the Father and then just obey. Yes, the world's view on children is skewed. The Church has embraced this view and even many Christians see children as a burden instead of a blessing. But that doesn't mean we are spiritually obligated to pop out as many children as we possibly can. It means we need to see kids with God's heart, cheerfully accept the ones He brings into our lives and obey Him. The point is to yield. To be putty in His hands. It's not a contest to see who can collect the most kids.

I have friends who have born children at great risk to their lives, and I worry about the children who may be left motherless if they choose to bear another child. But on the opposite end of that spectrum I had an elder at our old church tell us that God doesn't care how many kids we have. That our childbearing choices (other than abortion) are no more important to the Father than the color of the car we drive. And I think they are both off base. We need not be foolish when our bodies are screaming to stop. But children are a blessing, and we will advance the kingdom of God as we raise godly seed. So ending our fruitfulness on a whim of personal preference seems just as foolish. We must be very prayerful about any decision of this magnitude and make sure our hearts and motivations are clean before altering God's design for our bodies.

I don't want to be labeled "quiverfull" though I certainly believe I have a full quiver. I want to be clay in His hands, submitting wholly to His will.

Waiting for the day

Recently, a friend so mine went quite a few days "overdue" with her baby (since we know due dates are inaccurate at best). She was so patient, waiting for the perfect time for God to bring her baby into the world. And when her time came, she had a quick labor and birthed a ten and half pound baby boy with no problems.

She is much more patient than I am. I get to about 32 weeks and start feeling like a stuffed turkey. I moan and whine and wish for time to speed up until my baby comes. (Philip always tells me to enjoy it, because someday soon I will be wishing I were pregnant again. I roll my eyes like a petulant child and tell him that I won't. Of course, now I'm all twitchy for a new babe and totally wish I were pregnant again - but that's another subject). God, in His mercy, ignores my cries for deliverance and gives me strength to forbear until the proper time. And, when the time is perfect, the baby is born. And somehow, within a few days, I no longer remember the pains and travails of pregnancy. It seems like a very distant memory.

The Bible says that all creation groans for deliverance from sin (Rom 8:22). We too, long for the day of Christ's coming, when wrongs are made right and we are made into His likeness. Some days it just seems cruel that the earth continues to spin unaltered. So much sin, so much pain, so much evil exists. Like a heavily pregnant woman, we long for it to finally be the time of deliverance. Yet the Bible also tells us in II Peter 3 that it is the kindness of the Lord that causes Him to wait. He wishes that none would perish and so He lets creation groan in labor, knowing that every day more lost souls are found in Him.

But the day will come when His patience ends. Just as a woman cannot be pregnant forever (even though it feels like it), so creation will not groan in labor in vain. Someday, we will rise and find it is indeed that day, the day of deliverance we have longed for. And when it happens, we will count these days of trouble as a distant memory.

Sobering

I was reading the news yesterday at work (it was a bit slow for a change) and came across this article. It really struck home with me. We've heard so much about the human rights issues in China. Steven Spielberg pulled out of the Olympics planning to protest China's dealings with the Sudan. Other countries have called for boycotts of the opening ceremonies to protest human rights issues. And yet, for the most part, the issues they are concerned with are Tibetan autonomy and military supplies to the Sudan. While both of these issues are important, a figure that bothers me is this: in several recent years, the abortion rate in China has passed 10 million a year. Yes, that is correct. Over 10 million Chinese sons and daughters, people made in the image of God, are killed each year. Many of these are unwanted abortions, forced through China's one child policy.
When we think about China over the next few months and see the sparkling cities of Beijing and Tianjin at the Olympics, let us be reminded to pray for China's little ones and the genocide that takes place in the mothers' wombs.

Does God lie?

So, the Bible is pretty clear about children.

They are:
Rewards (Psalm 127:3)
Crowns (Proverbs 17:6)
A Heritage (Psalm 127:3)
Gifts (Genesis 33:5)
Arrows (Psalm 127:4)
Fruit (Genesis 28:3)
Known and Ordained by God (Jeremiah 1:5)
Olive shoots (Psalm 128:3)
Blessings (Genesis 1:28)


While some of these things seems strange to us, if you really think about them they have have a deep and rich meaning. Olive shoots, for example, were very special to the Hebrew people. They would grow into olive trees, which were symbols of Israel itself, and produced life-giving olive oil (which has many symbolic meanings: anointing, gladness, joy, healing, etc).

The question is, why don't I always think my kids are blessings, rewards, gifts, etc? Is God a liar, or have I failed to train them to be blessings.

Recently, we went to the zoo. While we were there, I had some problems with Nathan. He kept wandering off. It is difficult enough to keep an eye on 4 kids (Gabe was sleeping in the sling) without having one of them running off. Finally, I took him aside and said, "Nate, you are old enough to obey Mommy. You should be a blessing and helper to Mommy instead of being a problem." He came to me later and apologized for running off. He was very helpful for the rest of the day.

I think one issue in our society today is that we do not train our children to be helpers and blessings. They spend so much time sitting in desks at school, being shuttled from one activity to another, and doing homework that we feel guilty making them do anything around the house. So we wait on them like servants and then wonder why we feel put out and slavish. Maybe because we are not expecting them to fulfill the role God has made for them.

Philip teaches in his class that when you do good things you feel good about yourself. His students have been taught for years all this psycho babble about self-esteem. That they are inherently worthy of feeling high self esteem. But the kids already know deep down that self-esteem based of false praise is worthless. The best way to truly feel good about yourself is to do something good (and deal with guilt, but that's a whole other post).

There is a family in Arkansas that is expecting their 18th child. They have been featured in several specials on TLC. I have heard so much criticism of this family. People complain that the older children must have no childhood because they have to work hard, or that the younger ones have no individuality or time alone with Mom and Dad. But the children appear very happy. They seem content in knowing what their responsibilities are. Compare that to the dissatisfied smirks and general petulance of most American teens. We have reared them to be tiny dictators instead of helpers and blessings.

The next time you find yourself bemoaning your child's attitude, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you have helped create their sense of entitlement by not training them to be blessings.

Birth control revisited.

My wonderful dh and I have had a long running discussion about the practice of birth control in the modern church. We agree that the devil, the enemy of our souls, hates children and wants us to avoid having and raising up families who love the Lord. We know that our culture values prosperity and personal hedonism more than children. So it should not come as a surprise to us that this attitude has crept into the Church. Many of my church friends assume that having children is an area of absolute personal liberty, no more significant to the Lord that what color car you drive. Simply an area of personal preference. They see no problems with artificially limiting the size of your family in order to maintain a certain standard of living or keep you from being "stressed out."

On the other side of the equation we have the Quiverfull movement. These Christians believe that any limiting of family size is sin. That we should eagerly desire and embrace as many pregnancies as possible during our childbearing years, trusting that God will open and close the womb as He sees fit. God bless the QF for planting a flag and causing families to reconsider God's design. I am grateful that they stand up and proclaim the truth that children are blessings and a gift from the Lord. But some of the more radical elements of this camp say that there is no reason a woman should ever use any kind of birth control (even Natural Family Planning) - even if her health is poor or God has a special task for her family for a season. The problem with this camp is that is smacks of legalism and judgment.

I don't believe a loving husband would push his wife to have another baby at a time when her health was in danger. I don't think God would have a sick mom kill her unborn child through abortion, but there is a wisdom in allowing a sick mother to heal for a season before seeking pregnancy again. I know a couple who practices non-abortificant birth control because they believe God has called them to minister right now in a very dangerous area of the world. Their access to medical care is limited and a pregnancy at this point would mean that they could not continue their ministry. They do say that at some point they will move to a different area (and have children) when God tells them it is time, but for this season they believe they are in obedience to the Lord by not having children.

What I propose is a middle road. A place where each couple actively seeks to know what God's will is for their family. The world tells us that we should avoid "too many" children and the QF movement tells us that we should have as many children as physically possible. I think we should each listen to the Holy Spirit and stop trying to be the voice of God to each other. Let us encourage one another to ask "how many children do YOU want me have, Lord?" God bless those who have chosen to abandon their wombs to the Lord and eschew all birth control. And God bless those who use birth control for a season. And may the Holy Spirit convict any of us of our sins. Whether that be judging someone else for their use of birth control, or refusing to seek the Lord about His will for our family size.

So many of us want to bind each other with our own consciences. We forget that "man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart" (I Samuel 16:7). Maybe we should be quiet and let the Holy Spirit work on folks Himself.

God's will for me

So many times I have heard Christians lament, "I just don't know what God's will is for my life." I have even said it myself. I guess we are not familiar with His Word, because it is abundantly clear what His will is: " Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" ( I Thessalonians 5:16-18, bolding mine).

So what is God's will again? Simple: be joyful, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances.

How do we break that down though? I think they are all intertwined.

Be joyful.

Notice it doesn't say feel joyful, it says be joyful. This means to me that it is an act of will. I will get up this morning and choose joy. I will paste a smile on my face until it transforms my heart. Studies show that laughter actually makes you healthier (something that is not a surprise to God - see Proverbs 17:22). Choosing joy and choosing to laugh makes you feel better. A cheerful countenance makes you feel good. Then you smile even more. And then you feel even better. What a great cycle!

Give thanks in all circumstances.

Yes, I'm going out of order here, but there is a reason. This one has really been put to the test for me lately. As many of you know, we welcomed a lovely little boy to our household on August 24th. I had a history of two natural deliveries and two cesarean sections. I desperately wanted to have another natural birth. I saw a midwife and hired a wonderful doula to help me. I read stories about vaginal birth after cesarean and saw a chiropractor to improve his positioning. And in the end, my blood pressure shot through the roof and I ended up on the operating table again.

I was mad. I did not want another surgical birth. I wanted to pull my baby up onto my tummy and nurse immediately. I wanted our birth to be an intimate experience with as few in attendance as possible, not a show attended by 15+ hospital staff. And I did not want to go through the post-op pain of another major abdominal surgery. The more I dwelt on what I did NOT get, birthwise, the angrier I became. And the angrier I became, the more depressed and irritable I was. It got to the point where I felt physically sick to my stomach whenever I thought about Gabe's birth.

And then, as I was praying last week, I was reminded of this verse. God's will for my life is that I would be thankful in all circumstances. I began to think of all to good things that surrounded Gabe's birth.

First off, I am thankful for Gabriel himself. He is a gorgeous, sweet and easy going baby. His siblings are over the moon for him. He nurses like a champ and is getting so chubby and adorable.

I am grateful that my midwife and Philip were in the operating room the entire time. My hands were not tied down and I got to touch Gabriel right after he was delivered. I have video and film of the actual delivery. Gabe went with me to recovery and nursed immediately after I was finished being sewn up.

One bad spot in the delivery was when there was a mix up on the doctor's orders and I did not have pain medicine ordered post-op. After about 2 hours of crying hysterically, the situation was rectified and I was given pain medicine. But even this screw up gives me opportunity for thanks. Thank God there was eventual relief of the pain. Thank God we live in a country where medicine is available and the surgery was available.

My doula pointed out that there is a difference between disappointment and regret. I do not regret having a c-section. I believe it saved my life and Gabe's life. I am disappointed that I did not get the natural delivery that I wanted, but I can still choose thankfulness. And as I choose to reflect on the good and be thankful for God's providence, the disappointment is healing. As I embrace His way of thankfulness, He is healing my heart.

Pray continually.

I think the key to being joyful and giving thanks is praying continuously. In my own strength I am inadequate for joy and thankfulness. I have this fleshy bit in my me that wants to rise up and pout. I want things my way, and I want them now! But God has provided a way out for me. If I can lean on Him, I can escape my tendency towards ungratefulness and sullenness. He knows my heart. It is not news to Him when I tell Him that I cannot do it and ask for help. And day by day, minute by minute, I must ask if I am to win this battle. His mercies are new each day and His strength is sufficient.

So, pray with me today. Say, "Lord, help me to choose Your way of thankfulness and joy." Then suck it up, smile and choose to be grateful for all circumstances. Because this is God's will for you.

Planned? By God.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5

"Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD,
who walks in His ways!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands:
you shall be blessed and it shall be well with you.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD."
Psalm 128:1-4

"Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
The fruit of the womb His generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children.
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you.
You will sweep them right off your doorstep."
Psalm 127: 3-5

Recently, Philip and I found out we are expecting another baby. While we were indeed more than a little surprised at the news, our surprise quickly turned to joy and grateful anticipation of the newest blessing. We are thrilled to know that God has trusted us with another soul to raise up for His glory and we know the kids will be delighted to have another brother or sister to play with. We have found that God is faithful and has always provided for the increasing needs of our growing family. (We may have struggled financially at times, but this is more a result of our failures and poor choices than because of the blessing of children.) The only thing we have not been looking forward to is telling our friends, family and church. This may seem odd, but we have found that the reception we get when announcing a pregnancy has grown noticeably less jubilant with every successive child. It seems that the first two children are wonderful, the third is acceptable, and from four on your sanity is questioned. This mindset comes from our culture, not from the Word of God.

The Bible clearly states that children are a blessing. It never qualifies this with "children are a blessing, if they are convenient and you planned them and you feel like you are ready for them". It simply says they are blessings. I have never known a Christian to refuse any blessings from God except the blessings of the womb. If God wanted to give you a large chunk of money you would accept it right away. Yet the love of money is called the root of all evil (I Timothy 6:10).

We don't despise anyone who feels that God is calling them to use birth control (though we believe Christians must take a long, hard, prayerful look at the use of hormonal birth control as it can prevent implantation of a fertilized egg around 5-15% of the time), and we know there are times that birth control may be necessary. We would hate to say that God never leads a couple to prevent conception. However, we are frustrated by the fact that even in Christian churches using birth control seems to be the default position. If we have truly died to ourselves and are raised in newness of life to serve Him, how can we assume that changing the way our bodies work to refuse His blessings is the way to obey? Should we not prayerfully seek out God's will on the subject, assuming that we should be open to children unless the Spirit leads another way? Why do we allow the voice of culture to speak louder than the Voice of God? Barrenness in Biblical times was a curse, and yet our culture tells us it is prudent to pursue surgical barrenness. Many Christians will use verses on stewardship to bolster their arguments for a smaller family. We have not found a single verse that contextually supports this idea. The Bible speaks often of spending the resources that God has given you wisely, but never of refusing to receive those resources.

Maybe this is because, at the heart of the matter, we have believed the world's lie. Though we may not consciously even realize it, we do not believe that children are a blessing. Our culture views children as a burden, a responsiblity that we must shoulder before we can get on with our lives. I have talked to so many women who can't wait until their child goes to school so they can get "back to their lives." Several of my co-workers look forward to the day that their children leave home so they can pursue more schooling, more job skills, more pampering, and more elusive "fulfillment." Maybe we should ask the Lord to reveal to us His Heart towards children. Get on our knees and pray until we realize that children are a gift and that when He trusts us with them we are indeed blessed.

We do not know if this child will be our last. We believe that God will lead us by His Spirit. Even though this child was not "planned" by us, we know he or she was planned by God. That before He even began to knit this child together in my womb He had a purpose and a calling on the child's life. We know many people who love us will be concerned. We ask that if you have prayed and believe that God has told you we should stop receiving His blessings that you would also pray that He would share this with us. We want to be open to His leading and listen to His Voice.

I'm a mammal

Mammal: (n) any vertebrate of the class Mammalia, having the body more or less covered with hair, nourishing the young with milk from the mammary glands, and, with the exception of the egg-laying monotremes, giving birth to live young.

So, recently I had a conversation with some family members about nursing in public (NIP). The family members said that women should cover up with a blanket to avoid damaging any onlookers’ tender sensibilities. This, of course, did not sit well with me. And the more I ruminated upon the subject, the more upset I became. I think there is a major problem in society today. We view breasts as entirely sexual, when in fact, they are not. God designed them for nourishing our young. A nursing child is a child who is eating. Nothing more, nothing less. Breastfeeding is not a sexual act and it is not a bodily function akin to defecating or urinating. It does not need to be done in seclusion and it does not require a baby to be covered with a blanket unless the mother chooses to do so for her own comfort or the baby’s needs (some babies need a blanket to keep them from becoming distracted). We do not eat with blankets on our heads as adults. If it is inoffensive for adults to eat in public, why is it so terrible for infants? Flashes of mommy flesh? I would submit that you see more breast displayed on the covers of mainstream magazines at any supermarket checkout counter. Heck, you see more flesh exposed on teenage girls at the mall. Do most moms go about breastfeeding in order to become exhibitionists? Of course not, we are simply feeding our children in the way God intended. The indecency argument is flawed and hypocritical. Our schizophrenic society declares that breastfeeding moms are indecent but celebrates half naked lingerie models prancing on TV as freedom of expression.

Why is this, you may ask? Because at the core of our Western society, we hate children. What? You protest, of course. We love kids. We love babies. Really? When we were pregnant with our fourth child we began to hear the whisperings. "When are you getting fixed?" we were asked, ( as if something were broken.) "You do know how that happens, don’t you?" strangers would inquire in the grocery store (as if it were their business.) Even Christian friends began to counsel us about birth control - all in the name of "prudence" and "stewardship" of course. We happen to believe the Bible is true. That children are a blessing (Psalm 127:3). That we should eagerly desire and embrace new life. But our society does not see it this way. Children are a hinderance, a necessary evil that should be planned and only allowed when convenient. Strange, but while many Christians were up in arms over the Plan B emergency contraceptive pill they use the regular birth control pill without a second thought. It is estimated that 5-15% of the time the birth control pill does not prevent ovulation, allowing the egg to be fertilized, but preventing implantation. The exact way the Plan B pill works. Even Christians who eschew hormonal methods have embraced barrier methods of contraception and limit their family size to 1 or 2 kids. Why do we do this? Has God changed? Are children no longer a blessing? No, we have simply swallowed the devil’s line. We have decided that it is prudent to limit our family size so that our kids may have all the advantages and so we won’t be stressed out. Is is possible that God has a grander design for the family? Is it possible that having many siblings teaches children things that all the music lessons and summer camps in the world never could? Is it possible that when Paul said women would be saved in childbearing (I Timothy 2:15) he meant that we would be sanctified and grow in holiness by mothering our little flock of blessings?

The devil is a crafty fellow. He delights in twisting what God has made. He convinces Christians that it is God’s will to decline the blessings of the womb by calling it stewardship. He convinces Christians that breastfeeding is something to be hidden away. That the breasts He gave women to nurture and suckle their babies are completely sexual and perverse. Funny, in the Middle Ages it was common for religious art to show Mary breastfeeding the infant Jesus with a fully exposed breast. I believe it is not a godly thing to say that breastfeeding must be fully hidden, but rather a "religious" thing.

With our first two children (and to some extent with our third) we embraced the Ezzo method of babycare (known as Babywise or Growing Kids God’s Way). I found it extremely difficult to keep my milk supply up with the strictly scheduled feedings it prescribed. And it made my heart ache to hear my babies cry in their cribs when they needed me. It seemed like the advice I received went directly against the instincts God had put in my heart. I was advised to only offer the breast for nourishment, never for comfort. Later I found this is not even a Biblical approach. The Bible says that God comforts us just like a mother comforts her child at her breast (Isaiah 66:12-13). In Old Testament times children nursed for at least 3 years before weaning. Hannah took Samuel to the temple to serve when he was weaned. Ishmael teased Isaac at his weaning celebration (would you tease an infant?) With Luke, our littlest. I have nursed on demand. He is a happy, healthy, easy baby. I feel more confident and less stressed in my mothering. I feel like instead of making him a bother to be fit into my schedule I am embracing and enjoying him. There are some great things about the GKGW teachings and we still use many of them with our older children, but for feeding little Luke, I'm letting him call the shots.