What's that again?

Philip and I were talking last night when Susannah popped in with a question.

"Mama, how do make an earl?"

"Pardon? What do you mean 'an earl'?"

"Well, I made the 'g', but I don't know how to write the rest of 'girl'."

Philip and I just about died laughing.

Halloween.

Some pictures of the world's most adorable kids having a blast at our church's Trunk or Treat fest.

I don't often take fantastic pictures like my sisters...

...but I thought this one of Abby at the park was pretty darn good.



And who can resist this little face?



And then we have Dad of the Year (look, a man that multitasks!):

10 great years!

Just wanted to post a little shout out tonight to my wonderful husband, Philip. We celebrated 10 wonderful years of marriage today. It's been a (mostly) fun ride and I thank God that He gave me such a great husband and fantastic father to our kids. You rock, honey!

Texas Rubies retreat

I just got back on Sunday from my first Above Rubies retreat. Gabe and I had a great time and I really came back refreshed and renewed with vision for my children, home and marriage. I wanted to share a few little observations from the weekend.

1. Austin is lovely. I really had no idea that there were parts of Texas that were so hilly and green and gorgeous.

2. My husband is totally stinking awesome! I came home to a wonderfully clean house and happy kids.

3. Nancy Campbell and her daughters are very tall! And very sweet. They were all very gracious and approachable. It was amazing to me that they would take the time to come do this retreat with all the stuff going on in their lives right now.


4. There are humble, kind women from all walks of life. I was somewhat trepidacious about going to this retreat. I'm not the kind of lady who is quiet and meek and gentle all the time. I prefer capris to dresses and occassionally (working on this!) say bad words. I think my spiritual gift may be sarcasm (kidding!) I was worried that I wouldn't fit in. I was just overwhelmed with acceptance, from ladies who appeared Amish to those who dressed more like me. Everyone was sweet and kind. Several even told me that they were glad that I had come and they appreciated my joy and humor. I can't tell you how much this blessed me. So often I fall into the trap of thinking God can't use me as much as someone else because of who I am. I start thinking that I would be a better Christian if I covered my hair, wore long dresses, and stopped watching TV. But I don't think that's true.

Sure, I am supposed to be working towards holiness. And there are certainly times that I need to work on keeping my mouth shut. I need to listen more and talk less. I need to be discerning about what I watch on TV and not allow it to eat up my free time. But I also need to realize that God made me the way I am. He chose an outgoing, ebullient, joyful personality for me. When He formed me in the womb He must have been saying, "THAT one is going to be a firecracker! She's going to crack Me up!" And it's okay. God needs all kinds of folks in His Church. And I need to stop being a whiny baby about my place. Some folks are feet and some are hands and some are kidneys. And each of us is vital. Instead of trying to be each other, we should all be emulating Him.

5. God convicts us all about different things, and we need to be more sensitive to HIS voice than our peers'. For instance, there was a time not too long ago when I considered covering my hair and wearing dresses. (Honestly, I was just hoping that the outward sign would help my change my disposition towards submission). Dh was not on board. I realized this weekend that while other women may be led to do these things, for me it would be disobedience. My sweet husband does not want me in a prairie schooner dress or kerchief. So for me, adopting that style of dress would be the opposite of submission. It would be rebellion.

Nancy made a great point. She talked about how she went through a phase of dressing plainly and wearing no make up in order to show that she was "set apart". One day the Lord convicted her, saying "Is that the only way you can show you are different?" Ouch! I think putting on love (Col. 3:14) is more important than any physical garb we put on our bodies.

It's not called babysitting!

Can I share a frustration with you? I'm often asked who babysits the kids when I'm at work. I reply that my husband and I alternate our schedules so that either he or I can take care of the children. "Oh, that's so nice that your husband is willing to babysit." What??? Back up the train! It is not called babysitting when your husband watches his own children. It is called being a dad! Seriously!

I will preface this by saying that I am blessed with one of the best husbands ever. He is an active participant in every part of parenting. He changes diapers, gives baths, makes meals, cleans house and kisses boo boos. Last weekend he even took all five kids to Chuck E Cheese all by himself (with the baby in a sling!). And nearly achieved sainthood in the eyes of my mommy friends for doing so.

I am appalled at how low the bar is set for fathers in this culture. Because so many fathers are little more than sperm donors, any father that sticks around and does anything for his kids is considered a good dad. And good Christian fathers like my husband Philip are anointed as superheros.

Shouldn't involvement and care be the norm for Christian dads? How is a man supposed to be priest of his home and disciple his children if he is not with them? Our culture has sold us a lie in the form of "quality time". That whole idea is baloney. Kids spell love "TIME". Deuteronomy 6:4-8 says, "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD; and you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." How is a man supposed to do this if he is not involved in his kids' lives? Is he supposed to share Biblical truths during the commercials on ESPN while he watches his game? Or is he supposed to be active with his kids, teaching them day in and day out? Teachable moments come up often when you spend time with your kids, just doing life together. Trips to the park, chores around the house, handiwork in the garage and meals at the table all serve as springboards for discussions of the depths of God's Word.

Philip says that men who don't spend time with their kids are missing out. I agree, and I'm glad to have a husband who doesn't want to miss out.

Fossil Rim Wildlife Park

Over Spring Break we took the kids on a super cool (read, expensive) trip down to Fossil Rim Wildlife Park. It was really neat. The kids loved feeding the caribou, adaxes, and big horn sheep. It was a great day.

Voice over

Last month, our little pfamily went on a trip to see relatives. Being cheap, I mean, frugal, we have not purchased a DVD player for the minivan. But since we were going on a long trip we toted along our TV/DVD combo that we use for our homeschooling math and science lessons. The children could watch a few movies each direction and dh and I were spared listening to The Laurie Berkner Band CD on repeat.

We had purchased a few new movies for the trip and the kids had a blast watching Robots and Curious George. As we were talking in the front seat, dh and I tried to identify the actors and actresses who did the voice overs for the cartoon characters. (Phil is much better at this than I am). When he mentioned one of the actor's names, I struggled a bit. I had heard of this actor before, but couldn't really remember what his voice sounded like, because I'd only seen him in one movie and it was quite some time ago.

This struck me as a spiritual principle. I could not tell that the voice of this robot belonged to that actor because I was not very familiar with the sound of that actor's voice. I had heard it once, but not recently.

We are the same way with the LORD. Often Christians complain that we can't hear God speaking to us. Maybe the problem is that while God is speaking, we have forgotten what His voice sounds like. We have not spent enough time in prayer and in His Word to know what His voice is like. We can't tell the voice of the Holy Spirit from the voice of our culture because we have not cultivated our recognition.

Makes me want to turn off the TV and tune in to the Word of God. I can live without knowing that Mel Brooks is the voice of Bigweld, but I cannot live well without knowing the voice of my Creator.

Have they lost their minds?

Last week my handsome husband and I went out on a date. It was his turn to choose the movie and he chose the latest Mel Gibson flick, Apocolypto (http://apocalypto.movies.go.com/). We settled down in our seats at the dollar theater and I was somewhat surprised to see many parents with young children (the movie is rated "R"). About 15 minutes into the show the violence began. First, the protagonist's village in the rain forest is raided. It showed the brutal capture of the adults, the rape of some of the women and the abandonment of the children. I looked around to make sure parents were covering their children's eyes. Nope.

The movie continued to grow progressively more violent. Halfway through, the captives are lead into the Mayan capitol and three of them are sacrificed to the sun god. It showed their abdomens being sliced and their beating hearts being ripped from their chests before they are beheaded. It was gruesome. I had to cover my eyes. Surely the parents should be standing up and taking their children home at this point, right? Nope.

From that point on, the movie continued down the same violent path, showing, among other acts, stabbings, beatings, spearings, and impalements. I got up at one point to use the bathroom and heard a small boy (around 4) saying to his mom "this movie is scary." She told him to "shut up, it's just pretend." I was astounded. I went and had dry heaves in the toilet I was so upset about the poor children being subjected to this.

What is wrong with our culture when this is considered appropriate parenting? Why did the parents take their children to an "R" rated movie? If it was in err, why didn't they stand up and leave when the movie showed it's true colors? My husband pointed out that they probably just found that it was cheaper to buy tickets to the dollar theater than pay a babysitter. Ugh. Part of being a parent is doing what is best for your child. That means sucking it up and going to see "Flushed Away" or another G-rated, kid friendly flick when you cannot afford a sitter.

It seems sad to me that so many children are exposed to horrible violence like this on TV, in movies and in video games. These same kids later become angry, violent, rebellious teens and young adults. Why are we so surprised? We fill their minds with violence and wonder why violence is the end product. Maybe one reason our young people are angry is because they should have been protected.

Recently a friend was criticizing us for our plans to homeschool next year. "You don't want your kids to be sheltered, do you?" she asked. Yes! I do want my children sheltered. What is the opposite of sheltered, exposed? I certainly don't want my sweet, impressionable, vulnerable children exposed to the nastiness, amoral sexuality and senseless violence of this world. I want to allow their minds to be free from that garbage until they are old enough and have the moral foundation to process it. We certainly revel in the idea of the Lord being a refuge and shelter to us ("For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe." Ps 61:3), yet we want to deny our children the God-ordained refuge of parental discretion, forcing them to fend for themselves in a perverse world far before their hearts and minds are ready.

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." This is what we should be filling our children's minds with: pure, lovely admirable, true, noble, right, excellent and praiseworthy things.