Educating as unto the Lord

We've been homeschooling for 5 years now.

Five full, wonderful, stressful, exciting, exasperating, joyous, delightful years.


And next year, we're taking a new direction.

My boys are headed to public school.  Our plan has always been for them to go with Philip when they are in 5th & 6th grades (for those who don't know, my husband is a mad scientist/teacher at a local intermediate school).  Nate wasn't quite ready last year, so he's heading off with Daddy for 6th grade.

And the little boys, well, that's another story.  Gabriel went to speech pre-K this year at the elementary school. And he thrived.  His behavior has improved so much (and we actually understand him when he speaks!)  So we are sending him and Luke to the elementary school next year for K and 1st.  They are excited and I am praying that more structure will help Luke in the way it has helped Gabe.

Which leaves me home with my girls.  I'll have a 2 yr old, a 2nd grader and a 4th grader.  I am so thrilled that I will have more time with Anna before she heads off with Philip to 5th grade the next year.  I am determined to teach Abigail to read - a challenge for both of us as she struggles with dyslexia.   Thankfully I'll have the carrot of "more time for crafts" to dangle before her!  And finally, I am delighted that I can thoroughly and completely enjoy my last go-round with the terrific two's as Leah Claire heads into the world of preschool.

I've even found a new homeschool enrichment co-op (though I will miss my SACC friends mightily) that will allow me to have 5 whole hours to myself each week.  (Imagine shopping alone!  Or taking a nap!)

But I've gotten a lot of flack from friends about this arrangement.  As if I have given up on my children and ceded them to the devil.  As if homeschooling is God's perfect design for children and public school is satan's playground.  

But I think that's silly.

God never said that we must homeschool.  Sure, there is Deuteronomy 6:7, which says of God's laws, "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  Which homeschool zealots take to mean that we must have our children with us 24/7 so we can teach them God's laws.

But we have to remember that this command was given at a time when most children were with their parents 24/7 anyway.  And most fathers and mothers worked in the home.  We make a mistake when we read more into a verse than was originally meant.  When we read condemnation when it was not intended.

I believe the whole counsel of God is clear.  We should be teaching our children to love Him, follow Him and obey Him.  But homeschooling is not the only way to do that.

I also believe that we should be preparing our children to function at the fullest of their capabilities in a modern world.  That means giving them opportunities for academic excellence.  It means not using the cop-out "what really matters is that they love the Lord.  As long as they know the Bible, it doesn't matter if they know physics or chemistry."  Because academic excellence and a heart for God are not mutually exclusive.  The God who created our minds is glorified when we use them to our best ability.  And He is shamed when we waste them for some sham of holiness.

I have to admit, after 5 years, I have realized that I cannot do it all with excellence.  I cannot teach all 5 of my school aged kids to the level that I would like (at least not at this point).  I refuse to short-change my kids because of my pride.

I hear "we have all our homeschooling done by noon" and "it only takes 2-3 hrs per day" on homeschool blogs all the time.  But that isn't how it has looked for us.  We start in the morning and I'm usually finishing with the last child at dinner time.   We have been using an inclusive curriculum (Tapestry of Grace) that allows us to do many subjects together.  But there is no getting around the fact that math, reading, grammar, writing and spelling have to be done individually.  And when your dyslexic child's reading level is not the same as his comprehension level, you must read aloud most of his work.

Something's gotta give.

I want my children to love God wholeheartedly, but I also want them to be fully educated and prepared to do the things He has for them.

Homeschooling is a blessing.  But so is our educational system.  I challenge other moms to look honestly and prayerfully at the job they are doing with their kids and realize that putting your child in public school does not mean you have failed.  It may just be one path God uses to grow your child and educate him.  His Hand is not limited by your limitations.

If you cannot do it with excellence, maybe you need hand off the baton.  And that is okay.  I realize this may sound a bit judgmental, but I am getting so weary with the homeschool rhetoric.  When I hear moms say things like, "Well, we were busy last year with the new baby, so we just didn't do math," it makes me sad.  And angry.  (Especially when the new babies come every year or so.)   Raising your child to love God doesn't mean short-changing them educationally.

Or at least it shouldn't.

dinner conversation

Luke:  Mama, how did the devil become the devil? (notice the middle finger of grammar)

Me:  Umm.  Well, God created the devil to be His most special angel.  He was beautiful and had an important job leading the angels as they worshipped.  But the devil got jealous of God and said, "Hey!  I don't want to worship You, I want You to worship me!"  And he got some of the other angels to rebel with him. 
And then God said, "No way, Bubba Gump, and He cast the devil out of Heaven."

Nate:  Mom, I think God probably used more holier language than "Bubba Gump."

In which I practice great self control in Target

Just a funny story for today.

Yesterday I was at Target with Leah and the older three kids. Leah was riding tummy to tummy in a ring sling. She is obsessed with looking up at the ceiling fans, lights and sparkly faux ornaments at Target. I had my hand behind her head, supporting it, though she has quite a bit of head control already.

Out of nowhere this stranger runs up, grabs my hand and pushes it up, shouting "Oh my goodness, you have to support her head! Is this your first baby?"

I was quiet for a minute and said, "No, she's actually my sixth."

The lady stares at me and says, "Oh, well didn't they teach you that?"

I just glared at her until she walked away.

At which point Nate turns to me and says, "I'm really proud of you, Mommy, for not slapping her. She was an idiot."

Homeschooling, special needs, preschool and punching friends

I have a lot on my plate. (And if I ever forget this, I'm sure a stranger will remind me that I "sure have my hands full" next time I go to Costco). This is our fourth year of homeschooling. Last year was the first year that I really felt like we hit our stride. Of course, having Leah right at the beginning of this school year kind of threw a wrench into the works, but we are slowly getting back on track.

Our oldest son, Nate, is dyslexic. He is 10 and reads on a first grade level. For the first two years that we homeschooled (and the year he went to public K) I beat my head against the wall trying to teach him to read. We tried so many curriculums and strategies. Finally, last year he was tested at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children and diagnosed with dyslexia. Since then we have made a lot of progress towards reading well. But Nate still needs a lot of help.

Abigail shows some of the same tendencies that Nate did at that age. After over a year of phonics instruction she still does not recognize all of her letters. So I anticipate that she may need reading help as well.

Our two little boys, Luke and Gabe, both have severe speech delays. (Can I tell you how much I cried when Gabriel finally said, "I love you, Mama" for the first time last week?) They attend walk-in speech therapy at the local public school twice a week, but it was recommended that Gabe attend full time speech preschool.

There's only one me. And with a new baby, I am limited. So we made the prayerful decision to enroll Luke and Gabe in preschool two days a week. It will help with their speech issues and give me more time to intensely focus on schooling the older three, especially Nate and Abby.

But do you know what some of my homeschooling friends said? They were appalled that we would send our babies away. Even for 10 hrs a week. "If God wanted our babies to be put in school they would be born in classrooms instead of families," one of them sniffed. And I wanted to punch the stupid out of her. In Christian love, of course.

You see, Philip and I are homeschooling right now because we have prayed and believe it is the best thing for our family and our children. But that may change later. Some of our kids may go to private school or even (gasp) public school. It depends on what God tells us each child needs.

Because we are not disciples of the homeschool movement.

We are disciples of Christ. And our educational goals for our children are simple. We want them to be well-rounded, well-read, capable servants of Christ who have the skills they need to succeed at the calling He has placed on their lives. Homeschooling is not the goal, it is the method that we are using right now on our path to raising our little ones to love and serve Him.

He's got the whole world....

on a cake!






The kids and I are embarking on a trip around the world this year. The kids all have faux passports and as we travel we will add stickers to the passports for each country. One of our first projects was to make a map of the world - on a cake. We made a wonderful chocolate mint cookie cake. I discovered that freehanding a map of the world is harder than you would think. I wasn't intending to be so egocentric and have North America so large, but I started on the left and went right. So Asia got squished. And then eaten. Nate insisted that we use sprinkles for the major mountain ranges to it would be a physical map.

Recipe:

2 boxes chocolate cake mix
2 eggs
1 cup oil
1/4 cup water

Mix together. It will be quite thick.

Add 1 bag Andes mint chips.

Pat into a large greased jelly roll pan.

Bake at 350 for 15 minutes.

Cool and ice as desired.

The zoo, the zoo, the zoo is on fire!

So I've been busy for a few months, but I'm back now. And I did promise pics of the fire shirts, so here we are:

These pics are from a zoo trip in May. We really got good use from our Dallas Zoo passes the last couple years, but we're checking out the FW Zoo this year instead.

Apparently, I'm awesome.

I think I'm a pretty decent cook. I try hard to serve my family tasty, nutritious meals. Heck, I grind my own wheat for bread. Well, apparently, last night I outdid myself. As we were eating, my eight year old proclaims, "Mommy! You are the most amazingest, most beautifulest, most wonderful woman in the whole world. All the daddies in the world should WISH they'd married you."

What, you ask, inspired this praise?



That's right. Jiffy freaking Corn Muffins. Sigh...

(Pics of the Fire shirts are coming. Just can't find the camera. Again.)

What we do in our free time

Overlooking an insult

Recently, one of the children's verses for the week was Proverbs 12:16, "A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." I talked with the kids for a while about how we need to have thick skin. We need to ignore little annoyances and not be so touchy.

Later, I was contemplating the same verse. I thought about how some parenting books advocate a zero tolerance approach to back talk and disobedience. While I certainly believe in training your children to speak respectfully and obey immediately, I wonder if our haste to nip things in the bud can sometimes cause us to miss the root issue.

For example, Nate is having difficulty controlling his temper at times. He gets upset and doesn't know how to handle his emotions. He begins to get angry and has a tendency to back talk when I redirect him towards calming behaviors. Sometimes it really hacks me off when he sasses me and I'm tempted to respond with anger to his rude remarks. This can quickly escalate into a yelling match, making me feel like I have an 8 yr old teenager. I let my wounded pride and desire for respect from my children control my behavior.

I think the prudent thing for me to do is overlook the remarks (for now) and get to the root problem. He feels out of control with his emotions and needs help learning how to exercise self-control. I need to learn to not take things personally. I need to calmly and rationally help him instead of getting offended. Sometimes the punishment mentality muddies our effectiveness as parents. We are looking so closely at the behaviors we *need* to punish that we fail to see our kids as coheirs with Christ who need our help and guidance more than our snap judgements.

I think I need to pray more that God would help me see my kids' hearts and get to the root of their behaviors. I don't want to focus so much on the little stuff that I miss the big picture.

Too smart?

Daddy, "Nate, did you hear Mama ask you to set the table?"
Nate, "I must have been moving my head when she asked me. The sound waves must have bounced right over me."

Pardon?

Nate: Mama, did you know there is a Transformers cartoon?
Me: Yes, they had it when I was a kid too.
Nate: Really? Was it the same? You know, with the Autobots and the Mastecticons?

(I had this vision of breastless robots tramping through the city.)

The age of ...

Nate saw my birthdate on a form the other day and said, "Oh my gosh, Mommy, I didn't know you were born in the 1900's! Wow! Was that the Pirate Age or the Age of Exploration?"

I'm pretty sure it was the Age of Double Knit Polyester. Rock on Bicentennial Babes!

Thanksgiving movie

My friend Kimberly is a missionary in Ireland. They are having a traditional Thanksgiving feast next week and she asked me if the kids would act out the story for them and then say what they were thankful for.

Here is our (not quite) high quality video:

Quacking me up

We were reading Proverbs this morning when we came across a verse about prosperity. Nate asked, "So, if we follow God we will always be rich?" I explained that this was not true. That God blesses us, not so that we can be rich, but so that we will have more to give others after our needs are met. I told him that if he needs 30 dollars to live on, but God blesses him with 50 dollars, it is so he can use the extra 20 to give to the sick or poor.

Nate smiled and said, "I'd give mine to the poor. 'Cause the sick should have asked about Aflac at work. You know, the duck that pays for your groceries and gas."

Halloween.

Some pictures of the world's most adorable kids having a blast at our church's Trunk or Treat fest.

So easy a child could understand

Nate asked me the other day why I was not voting for Obama. They had seen some presidential ads on TV and Nate said, "Mom, he talks really nice. And he wants us all to share and be nice to our neighbors. That's good stuff." I agreed and explained that while I do agree with and can respect Obama's positions on some issues, I disagree with him on others, like abortion.

Nate asked what abortion was. After taking a deep breath to consider how I should respond, I explained that sometimes when a mommy has a baby in her tummy, she decides for some reason that she doesn't want to have a baby and she goes to a special doctor who kills the baby in her tummy and takes it out. (I assured him that I would never even think about such a thing, and my doctors would never hurt a baby in my tummy.)

Nate's eyes got huge and wet and he whispered, "But Mama, that is wrong. How could someone do that to a baby? God says babies are a gift. Don't they know that?" I began to weep and hugged him close.

"Yes, Nate, babies are a gift. Some people just don't know it," I said as I comforted him.

"Well, Mama, why don't we tell them? Why don't we make a movie and show them how great babies are? Maybe we could give them our address and they could just give their babies to us when they are born. We need more babies, Mama."

I explained that people did not understand because they were held captive by sin. The eyes of their understanding are blinded because they are slaves to the devil. I told him we needed to pray that people would be freed. That they would come to know Jesus and believe in the truth. That when people know God, they understand His blessings. We prayed together and snuggled for a while.

Why is it that an eight year old who loves God can see clearly what many grownups cannot?

Is puberty just around the corner?

A few weeks ago Nate came to me and said he needed to talk privately. He wanted me to pick up some hair gel for him at the store, so he could spike it up in the front (good luck, since he has my brother Logan's wirey curls) and "look handsome for the girls in my class."

Then today, at the pumpkin patch (which was a special piece o' heck to be discussed later), we rode on the hay wagon. He was sitting next to me, looking around. I asked if he was sleepy. He said no, he was looking for pretty girls. I said, "I thought you were going to marry Summer." (my friend Amy's little girl, we've joked about their betrothal since they were a year old).

"Oh, Mom," he replies, "Summer's not my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfried yet. But I'm looking."

Ack! I did not realize this would be happening at eight!

Writing Scripture

We were at the dinner table Tuesday night when Nate says, "Mommy, Daddy, do you want to hear the new Scripture I wrote?"

I explained that we do not get to write our own Scriptures, but God loves it when we write songs and poems for Him. So he decided he had written a prayer song. It was very sweet:

God, You are so mighty.
God, You are so mighty.
God, You are so mighty.
Help us do our best to serve You.
Amen

Not bad, eh? Maybe we'll have a little Chris Tomlin on our hands. As soon as he's done being a knight and vanquishing the forces of evil, that is (Nate's current job aspiration is knighthood).

Adult language

Nate and I were talking in the car a couple days ago about my birthday. I said that Grandpa was coming over for the evening and Daddy and I were going to go on a date and see a movie. He protested, saying he wanted to see it too.

Me: No, Nate, this is Mommy and Daddy's special time and we are going to see a grown up movie.
Nate: Eww, is it about love?
Me: No, but it has some bad language. Not for kids.
Nate: Hey! I know LOTS of bad words! Wanna hear? Stupid! Lame!

Whew! I'm so glad that stupid and lame are the worst words he can think of. God must have covered his ears the other day when I had a kidney stone and said the "d" word a few times.

Children's Day

A month ago, when we were celebrating Father's Day (I'm chronically tardy), Nate got in a little funk. I asked him what the problem was and he replied, "It's not fair, Mommy. You get Mother's Day and Daddy gets Father's Day. When do we get to have Children's Day?"

Only every single other day in the year, Nate. Every single day.