Homesick

Sometimes here in Texas I feel restless. I get so excited when we take a trip back up to Blue Springs (my hometown) or even to Tulsa (where Philip and I met and went to college). I walk around the familiar streets of my formative years and wonder if I'll run into someone I know. I feel this vaguely hollow sensation, hoping I'll run into someone to reconnect with. I fantasize about moving back home to Missouri.

But the truth is, the desire I feel is not really a desire to return to my childhood home, it is a desire for my future home. The one I was made for, Heaven. I feel unsettled and nomadic here because I am supposed to. God wired me to feel discontent here because He wants me to be mindful of my true citizenship. He wants me to feel a little uncomfortable and out of place here to remind me that I will only fit in at His place.

Lately, eternity has been weighing heavily on my heart. I've been watching my children and realizing my time with them is so short. While some days it can seem like at eternity until nap time, in reality I have precious few years to mold and prepare them. Before I realize it they will be taking flight and I must be diligent to prepare them well.

In the same vein, my time here is so short. And while I will have all of eternity to reap the rewards of faithfulness on Earth, I must be diligent to use my time wisely.

Someday I will be home for good. In the place where all my discontent is soothed and my restless heart is still. I pray that God would help me to stay focused on that day and work hard preparing for it.

Moving day!

I recently purchased a book by Randy Alcorn called "Heaven." It is one of the best books I have ever read and I encourage everyone to read it. It will really change your views and get you excited about our future home. Being filled with joyful anticipation of being with God in His place, Heaven, can certainly change the way you think about today.

He gives the example of moving day. When we built our house almost 5 yrs ago I was thrilled. I poured over the plans constantly. I drew up diagrams for furniture placement. I saved money to buy new things for the house. When the studs were up we came and wrote Scriptures all over the wall and on the concrete flooring. We prayed over the house. We saved and scrimped and sacrificed to get into the house.

Heaven is our destination. Our new (real) home is being built there. Jesus promises in His Word that he is preparing a home for us. And yet we often fail to plan for our new home. We don't desire it, we dread it. How crazy is that? The Creator of the Universe is building a place for us and we want this sin-drenched, broken-down world instead.

Suppose that after we had begun to build our house I had come into some money. And instead of saving it or investing it in things for the new house, I had bought some lavish embellishment for my rented apartment. Would that have made any sense? Jesus tells us that the wise man stores his treasure in Heaven. The wise man knows this world is, at best, a rental house, and it would be foolish to waste our resources, time or talent on things that will only be good for this world. A wise man devotes his time and energy to planning for Heaven.

So cheer up! Wise up! Live in thoughtful, joyful anticipation, making the most of every opportunity! Moving day is coming!

Christmas mourning

What a horrible day at work.

I arrived at the ER this morning just in time to hear the overhead page for a "CPR in progress" call to be hitting our doors in 2 minutes. A 44 yr old man had been eating with his family and died suddenly. For the next hour and a half I sat with his family as they cried in shock and grief at this unexpected Christmas morning. My heart just broke for them.

As I was praying silently for them the Lord brought to my rememberence the whole meaning of Christmas. Emmanuel, God made flesh. The infinite God became a finite man so that death would not be the end. So that we could live with Him forever. So that some distant day, this family's Christmas mourning would be turned into dancing.

What a wonderful gift we have in our Savior, and what a wonderful future we have in Him.