Does God lie?

So, the Bible is pretty clear about children.

They are:
Rewards (Psalm 127:3)
Crowns (Proverbs 17:6)
A Heritage (Psalm 127:3)
Gifts (Genesis 33:5)
Arrows (Psalm 127:4)
Fruit (Genesis 28:3)
Known and Ordained by God (Jeremiah 1:5)
Olive shoots (Psalm 128:3)
Blessings (Genesis 1:28)


While some of these things seems strange to us, if you really think about them they have have a deep and rich meaning. Olive shoots, for example, were very special to the Hebrew people. They would grow into olive trees, which were symbols of Israel itself, and produced life-giving olive oil (which has many symbolic meanings: anointing, gladness, joy, healing, etc).

The question is, why don't I always think my kids are blessings, rewards, gifts, etc? Is God a liar, or have I failed to train them to be blessings.

Recently, we went to the zoo. While we were there, I had some problems with Nathan. He kept wandering off. It is difficult enough to keep an eye on 4 kids (Gabe was sleeping in the sling) without having one of them running off. Finally, I took him aside and said, "Nate, you are old enough to obey Mommy. You should be a blessing and helper to Mommy instead of being a problem." He came to me later and apologized for running off. He was very helpful for the rest of the day.

I think one issue in our society today is that we do not train our children to be helpers and blessings. They spend so much time sitting in desks at school, being shuttled from one activity to another, and doing homework that we feel guilty making them do anything around the house. So we wait on them like servants and then wonder why we feel put out and slavish. Maybe because we are not expecting them to fulfill the role God has made for them.

Philip teaches in his class that when you do good things you feel good about yourself. His students have been taught for years all this psycho babble about self-esteem. That they are inherently worthy of feeling high self esteem. But the kids already know deep down that self-esteem based of false praise is worthless. The best way to truly feel good about yourself is to do something good (and deal with guilt, but that's a whole other post).

There is a family in Arkansas that is expecting their 18th child. They have been featured in several specials on TLC. I have heard so much criticism of this family. People complain that the older children must have no childhood because they have to work hard, or that the younger ones have no individuality or time alone with Mom and Dad. But the children appear very happy. They seem content in knowing what their responsibilities are. Compare that to the dissatisfied smirks and general petulance of most American teens. We have reared them to be tiny dictators instead of helpers and blessings.

The next time you find yourself bemoaning your child's attitude, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you have helped create their sense of entitlement by not training them to be blessings.

Scream!

Many of my friends enjoy horror movies. I hear my co-workers discuss how terrified they were at the latest slasher flick and recount with joy how they had horrible dreams afterward. When I say I don't like horror films (I still have occasional nightmares about "Silence of the Lambs"), they act shocked. "You have to work up to it," they say. "The more you watch, the more it won't bother you." Possibly true, but is that a good thing?

Should we inoculate ourselves against fear? Should we scratch ourselves with the sandpaper of horror flicks/books/media until we develop spiritual calluses? Should we desire nice little numb spots on our souls where we can't feel fear? Because there are real things in life to fear. A death without Christ, eternal damnation (yes, it's real, folks!), falling prey to the devil's schemes, the wrath of a just God: these are all things to be feared. But when we have numbed our souls to fear we cannot rightly feel the fear we should. Pain is a gift (just ask a leper), just as real fear is a gift. We are scared of jumping off a cliff because of a little thing called gravity.

The old hymn says, "'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved..." God has given us healthy fear so we will understand the gravity of the judgment to come. But He has also given us a release from fear - the assurance of salvation through His Son. I think this is what is meant by I John 4:18, "There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out all fear." We need not fear judgment and damnation when we are saved by the One who loved us and gave Himself up for us.

Texas Rubies retreat

I just got back on Sunday from my first Above Rubies retreat. Gabe and I had a great time and I really came back refreshed and renewed with vision for my children, home and marriage. I wanted to share a few little observations from the weekend.

1. Austin is lovely. I really had no idea that there were parts of Texas that were so hilly and green and gorgeous.

2. My husband is totally stinking awesome! I came home to a wonderfully clean house and happy kids.

3. Nancy Campbell and her daughters are very tall! And very sweet. They were all very gracious and approachable. It was amazing to me that they would take the time to come do this retreat with all the stuff going on in their lives right now.


4. There are humble, kind women from all walks of life. I was somewhat trepidacious about going to this retreat. I'm not the kind of lady who is quiet and meek and gentle all the time. I prefer capris to dresses and occassionally (working on this!) say bad words. I think my spiritual gift may be sarcasm (kidding!) I was worried that I wouldn't fit in. I was just overwhelmed with acceptance, from ladies who appeared Amish to those who dressed more like me. Everyone was sweet and kind. Several even told me that they were glad that I had come and they appreciated my joy and humor. I can't tell you how much this blessed me. So often I fall into the trap of thinking God can't use me as much as someone else because of who I am. I start thinking that I would be a better Christian if I covered my hair, wore long dresses, and stopped watching TV. But I don't think that's true.

Sure, I am supposed to be working towards holiness. And there are certainly times that I need to work on keeping my mouth shut. I need to listen more and talk less. I need to be discerning about what I watch on TV and not allow it to eat up my free time. But I also need to realize that God made me the way I am. He chose an outgoing, ebullient, joyful personality for me. When He formed me in the womb He must have been saying, "THAT one is going to be a firecracker! She's going to crack Me up!" And it's okay. God needs all kinds of folks in His Church. And I need to stop being a whiny baby about my place. Some folks are feet and some are hands and some are kidneys. And each of us is vital. Instead of trying to be each other, we should all be emulating Him.

5. God convicts us all about different things, and we need to be more sensitive to HIS voice than our peers'. For instance, there was a time not too long ago when I considered covering my hair and wearing dresses. (Honestly, I was just hoping that the outward sign would help my change my disposition towards submission). Dh was not on board. I realized this weekend that while other women may be led to do these things, for me it would be disobedience. My sweet husband does not want me in a prairie schooner dress or kerchief. So for me, adopting that style of dress would be the opposite of submission. It would be rebellion.

Nancy made a great point. She talked about how she went through a phase of dressing plainly and wearing no make up in order to show that she was "set apart". One day the Lord convicted her, saying "Is that the only way you can show you are different?" Ouch! I think putting on love (Col. 3:14) is more important than any physical garb we put on our bodies.

Strawberry heaven!

Yesterday we took a trip to a farm near our home that allows you to pick your own strawberries. The kids had a blast and couldn't pick enough. Luke really liked picking the green ones and then making horrible faces.

I guess they really are listening...

My daughters were playing with their My Little Ponies on the floor. Anna's baby pony was nursing from her mama and Anna says, "No biting, Little Man, or it will be no boob for you!" (Imagine this in a Soup Nazi tone of voice). I just about fell out of my chair laughing.

It's not called babysitting!

Can I share a frustration with you? I'm often asked who babysits the kids when I'm at work. I reply that my husband and I alternate our schedules so that either he or I can take care of the children. "Oh, that's so nice that your husband is willing to babysit." What??? Back up the train! It is not called babysitting when your husband watches his own children. It is called being a dad! Seriously!

I will preface this by saying that I am blessed with one of the best husbands ever. He is an active participant in every part of parenting. He changes diapers, gives baths, makes meals, cleans house and kisses boo boos. Last weekend he even took all five kids to Chuck E Cheese all by himself (with the baby in a sling!). And nearly achieved sainthood in the eyes of my mommy friends for doing so.

I am appalled at how low the bar is set for fathers in this culture. Because so many fathers are little more than sperm donors, any father that sticks around and does anything for his kids is considered a good dad. And good Christian fathers like my husband Philip are anointed as superheros.

Shouldn't involvement and care be the norm for Christian dads? How is a man supposed to be priest of his home and disciple his children if he is not with them? Our culture has sold us a lie in the form of "quality time". That whole idea is baloney. Kids spell love "TIME". Deuteronomy 6:4-8 says, "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD; and you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." How is a man supposed to do this if he is not involved in his kids' lives? Is he supposed to share Biblical truths during the commercials on ESPN while he watches his game? Or is he supposed to be active with his kids, teaching them day in and day out? Teachable moments come up often when you spend time with your kids, just doing life together. Trips to the park, chores around the house, handiwork in the garage and meals at the table all serve as springboards for discussions of the depths of God's Word.

Philip says that men who don't spend time with their kids are missing out. I agree, and I'm glad to have a husband who doesn't want to miss out.

Cloth diaper redux

Flat fold diapers are the most simple diapers around. They are just a one-ply square that can be folded several different ways. They have to be Snappied or pinned in place. A receiving blanket can even be used in a pinch, though I prefer birdseye flats. This is a tutorial for my favorite fold, the origami fold.

1. Start with your square diaper


2. Fold it in half horizontally so the fold is towards you.


3. Grab the bottom left corner and fold it up towards the top right corner, forming a triangle.


4. Take the top right corner of the triangle (the one you just formed) and move it across over the top left corner.



5. Grab the center of the top of the triangle with your left hand and the top right corner with your right hand. Fold towards the left side so it appears square.


6. Take the left side and begin to fold it inward until it is in thirds in the center.






7. Now you're ready for the baby! Place the baby in the center of the diaper and fold the middle section up.



8. Fold the outside wing tips over a bit and then fold them over the baby's tummy.





9. Secure with a Snappi or pins.



10. Tuck the hip sections under the bum a bit to create poo-catching gussets.



11. Put on a cover and you're done!







Now kiss that happy baby!