Wednesday, April 06, 2011

You know THAT girl?

The one you read about on the web.

The one who teaches her kids Latin and Sign Language in preschool.

The one whose kids excel at every subject known to man.

Who always has a perfect house and perfectly obedient children.

Who values punctuality and has immaculate systems for preventing lateness.

Who rises early to get at least 2 hrs with the Lord before her kids wake up.

Who takes her kids to every extracurricular activity under the sun.

Plus church.

Who takes her kids to feed the hungry and scrub toilets at the downtown mission every week.

But still has time to sew all their clothes, and prepare organic meals from scratch.

With vegetables she grew in her garden and eggs from her chickens.

Well, I'm not her.  And I doubt you are either.  I don't think this lady really exists.  But it's really easy to read blogs and get a false idea about who we should be and what we should be doing.  I have a tendency to synthesize all the ideas I get from blogs into some monstrous mommy idol.  I somehow think that the lady who makes all the nifty craft stuff on Filth Wizardry is the same one who makes all her own food on Heavenly Homemakers.  But they can't be.  Something's got to give.  And one person cannot accomplish everything that this magical lady in my head does.

And I know this.  Somewhere in the back of my head, I really do.  But I still walk around feeling condemned because I'm not her.  Because I'm not living up to some imaginary standards set by other folks.

And I get paralyzed by fear.  And descend into inactivity because I know I can't do everything. 

But all I need to do, all He has called me to do, is the next right thing.  Listen to His voice and obey. 

I need to ask Him what is important and go from there.  Accept that I cannot do it all and focus on doing a fantastic job of the few things that matter to His heart. 

People have been telling me for years that I should be selling the things I make.  But honestly?  I don't have time.  And it stresses me out.  Twice I have tried to open online shops only to get stressed and quit.  I recently tried again.  And I realized (sooner this time!  Yeah!  I'm learning!) that sewing adorable baby clothes for other folks' kids is not what God has called me to.  I should sew for my own enjoyment for the people I love.  Heck, I have a part-time job that pays well.  I don't need another one.

But I do need to streamline.  And prioritize.  And run hard with the vision He has given us for our family.  Which means dropping the extra stuff (good stuff, but not necessarily God stuff) and focusing on being excellent in a few things. 

And not beating myself up because I'm not THAT girl.

Because she didn't exist anywhere except my head.


mamakyker said...

Amen, and Amen. Oh, man, have I ever been guilty of this..... All of those things just seem so GOOD and RIGHT and even FUN! But when the result is a harried, crazy, frazzled wife and mommy who really isn't enjoying anything at all anymore there's nothing good at all about it.

wordstolivebymommy said...

heck, you are THAT girl to me :)

Tamara said...

Oh, Steph, you obviously have not seen my bathroom. And I am perpetually late.

It's easy to look shiny on the web.

sophiaofthrace said...

Amen to that!

Astrid said...

Man! I feel like I'm going to cry!! You wouldn't believe how much that ministered to me today....just last night I was talking to Chris about how I don't do this, that and the other, things that I thought I should be doing, based on what I'd seen/read other sahm's do.....Thank you so much!

Astrid said...

Another lesson learned....listen to your husband, lol....Chris read what you wrote and told me that that's exactly what he was trying to tell me last night....I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else to confirm it.... ;-)

Terra said...

Well Tamara, what you do do, you do very well! Be encouraged and take pride in kids that love to learn and love you!

A Stable Beginning said...

Amen to that, thanks for the reminder!!! Signed up to follow along with your journey. We will be starting with TOG yr 1 in August.

Unknown said...
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Nicole said...

Great post! Found you on WTM.