Things I would have missed, part one

I was getting kind of grouchy last week. I've had a sinus infection that I just can't seem to shake and coupled with the utter exhaustion and nausea of early pregnancy, I was just miserable. In the back of my mind I was thinking, "WHY am I doing this again so soon?"

And God showed me some beautiful things that I would have missed if we didn't have kids quite so close together.

I heard Abby and Anna giggling in their room and just grinned thinking of the special bond they have. We put them in their beds at night, but by morning they are huddled in a little nest of blankets together on the floor like a pile of puppies.

I saw Luke stand up for the first time and Nate ran over and kissed him. He said, "Oh, Lukey, you stood up! I'm so proud of you! You're going to be such a great walker."

I heard Nate explaining a Bible story to his sisters when he thought I wasn't listening. I had been telling him about perseverence and he was repeating the lesson to the girls.

I sat on the couch with the kids all around me and read books.

I nursed Luke and Abby came over and rubbed his hair and kissed him.

I heard the kids playing pretend. Nate was a knight and was trying to rescue his princess sisters from an evil dragon.

I saw the kids help care for the baby. Abby brought me diapers and wipes. Anna looked at a book with Luke. Nate tickled Luke and blew raspberries on his tummy.

I heard Nate explaining to Anna that Jesus lives in his heart and that if she wants Him to He can live in her heart too. He told her that Jesus will never leave her and that she will never be alone.

I enjoyed a puppet show with 6 puppets dancing madly. And one baby sitting in front of the stage chewing on a seventh puppet.

I am really, really blessed. My kids love each other and enjoy each other's company. That's why we are doing this again.

Planned? By God.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5

"Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD,
who walks in His ways!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands:
you shall be blessed and it shall be well with you.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD."
Psalm 128:1-4

"Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
The fruit of the womb His generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children.
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you.
You will sweep them right off your doorstep."
Psalm 127: 3-5

Recently, Philip and I found out we are expecting another baby. While we were indeed more than a little surprised at the news, our surprise quickly turned to joy and grateful anticipation of the newest blessing. We are thrilled to know that God has trusted us with another soul to raise up for His glory and we know the kids will be delighted to have another brother or sister to play with. We have found that God is faithful and has always provided for the increasing needs of our growing family. (We may have struggled financially at times, but this is more a result of our failures and poor choices than because of the blessing of children.) The only thing we have not been looking forward to is telling our friends, family and church. This may seem odd, but we have found that the reception we get when announcing a pregnancy has grown noticeably less jubilant with every successive child. It seems that the first two children are wonderful, the third is acceptable, and from four on your sanity is questioned. This mindset comes from our culture, not from the Word of God.

The Bible clearly states that children are a blessing. It never qualifies this with "children are a blessing, if they are convenient and you planned them and you feel like you are ready for them". It simply says they are blessings. I have never known a Christian to refuse any blessings from God except the blessings of the womb. If God wanted to give you a large chunk of money you would accept it right away. Yet the love of money is called the root of all evil (I Timothy 6:10).

We don't despise anyone who feels that God is calling them to use birth control (though we believe Christians must take a long, hard, prayerful look at the use of hormonal birth control as it can prevent implantation of a fertilized egg around 5-15% of the time), and we know there are times that birth control may be necessary. We would hate to say that God never leads a couple to prevent conception. However, we are frustrated by the fact that even in Christian churches using birth control seems to be the default position. If we have truly died to ourselves and are raised in newness of life to serve Him, how can we assume that changing the way our bodies work to refuse His blessings is the way to obey? Should we not prayerfully seek out God's will on the subject, assuming that we should be open to children unless the Spirit leads another way? Why do we allow the voice of culture to speak louder than the Voice of God? Barrenness in Biblical times was a curse, and yet our culture tells us it is prudent to pursue surgical barrenness. Many Christians will use verses on stewardship to bolster their arguments for a smaller family. We have not found a single verse that contextually supports this idea. The Bible speaks often of spending the resources that God has given you wisely, but never of refusing to receive those resources.

Maybe this is because, at the heart of the matter, we have believed the world's lie. Though we may not consciously even realize it, we do not believe that children are a blessing. Our culture views children as a burden, a responsiblity that we must shoulder before we can get on with our lives. I have talked to so many women who can't wait until their child goes to school so they can get "back to their lives." Several of my co-workers look forward to the day that their children leave home so they can pursue more schooling, more job skills, more pampering, and more elusive "fulfillment." Maybe we should ask the Lord to reveal to us His Heart towards children. Get on our knees and pray until we realize that children are a gift and that when He trusts us with them we are indeed blessed.

We do not know if this child will be our last. We believe that God will lead us by His Spirit. Even though this child was not "planned" by us, we know he or she was planned by God. That before He even began to knit this child together in my womb He had a purpose and a calling on the child's life. We know many people who love us will be concerned. We ask that if you have prayed and believe that God has told you we should stop receiving His blessings that you would also pray that He would share this with us. We want to be open to His leading and listen to His Voice.

Moving day!

I recently purchased a book by Randy Alcorn called "Heaven." It is one of the best books I have ever read and I encourage everyone to read it. It will really change your views and get you excited about our future home. Being filled with joyful anticipation of being with God in His place, Heaven, can certainly change the way you think about today.

He gives the example of moving day. When we built our house almost 5 yrs ago I was thrilled. I poured over the plans constantly. I drew up diagrams for furniture placement. I saved money to buy new things for the house. When the studs were up we came and wrote Scriptures all over the wall and on the concrete flooring. We prayed over the house. We saved and scrimped and sacrificed to get into the house.

Heaven is our destination. Our new (real) home is being built there. Jesus promises in His Word that he is preparing a home for us. And yet we often fail to plan for our new home. We don't desire it, we dread it. How crazy is that? The Creator of the Universe is building a place for us and we want this sin-drenched, broken-down world instead.

Suppose that after we had begun to build our house I had come into some money. And instead of saving it or investing it in things for the new house, I had bought some lavish embellishment for my rented apartment. Would that have made any sense? Jesus tells us that the wise man stores his treasure in Heaven. The wise man knows this world is, at best, a rental house, and it would be foolish to waste our resources, time or talent on things that will only be good for this world. A wise man devotes his time and energy to planning for Heaven.

So cheer up! Wise up! Live in thoughtful, joyful anticipation, making the most of every opportunity! Moving day is coming!

Gifts for the kids

Recently, a single friend and I were talking about children. He said that he wants to wait until he is older and then have 1 or 2 kids, so he can "give them everything they need." I said that we decided when we first married that we would like a large family. He asked if we were worried that we wouldn't be able to give them everything. This really got me thinking.

It seems that most families ultimately come down to this dilemma. You can have a very small family and have more money to spend on each child. Or you can have more children and have less money to spend of each child. At first glance it seems like the best thing for a child would be for mom and dad to have plenty of monetary resources to spend on him or her.

But in the long-term scheme of things, is this truly best?

What do more toys, clubs, and activities do for a child? A toy will break someday, and constantly getting the "newer, better" model of toys and playthings simply teaches a child to be discontent and covetous. Clubs and activities (sports, lessons, etc) are great, but many moms spend so much time running children from one lesson to another that all true family time is gone. The backseat of the minivan becomes the family meal table and the child's true teachers and mentors are his coaches or her ballet instructors (instead of mom and dad). A family life that is centered around the child's schedule and the child's activities (with mom as the chauffeur and dad as the bankroll) teaches a child that the world revolves around them.

What does a sibling do for a child? It gives him a friend for life (both here and in Heaven). A sibling teaches patience, cooperation, forgiveness, gentleness and kindness. Not getting everything a child wants teaches the child to value what they have and work hard towards goals. Having a larger family teaches a child that they are a valued part of the whole, but not the entire focus. The world does not revolve around him or her. Moms of large families generally are more focused on teaching their children home skills and helping them develop the capacity to keep house and be responsible.

I am grateful for the training I received as the oldest of six children. When faced with the decision between giving my children more "stuff" or giving them a brother or sister, I will choose a sibling every time.

The lies of drug companies: how they get women's money coming and going

Up until the 19th century virtually all women breastfed their children. Then, in 1867, Henri Nestle founded the first formula company and concocted the first infant formula. While his original intentions were good (to provide nutrition for orphans and infants of mothers who truly could not produce milk), the formula industry has blossomed into a multibillion dollar a year cash cow and our breastfeeding rates in the US are dismally low. In the US 62.5 percent of women start out exclusively nursing in the hospital, but by six months only 14.2 percent are still exclusively nursing. A sad number, considering that both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months (at which point you may add solids to the diet, but should continue to give breastmilk as the main source of nutrition until a child is at least a year old.) Additionally, the World Health Organization recommends 2 years of breastfeeding as the bare minimum!

Breastfeeding is infinitely superior to formula. It is silly that we humans think we can try to copy God's design. Every time the drug companies isolate a new component in breastmilk and add it to the new formulas (like Enfamil Lipil with DHA/ARA) it just reaffirms the awesomeness of God's design. He made breastmilk to be the perfect food for our little ones and we will never be able to replicate it.

The formula companies put on a fine charade of being pro-breastfeeding, even giving out "breastfeeding success bags" at the hospital. These clever little bags contain a little booklet of tips for breastfeeding, and a large can of formula "just in case". Studies show that moms who start out breastfeeding and stop are more likely to continue to feed their child formula the entire first year, while many moms who start out on formula will switch to cow's milk well before the first birthday. So there is big money to be made by encouraging nursing moms to switch to formula. And even a few bottles of formula in the first few weeks can have drastic ramifications on a woman's milk supply, so making that easy bottle of formula readily available is an insidious trick.

What are the risks of feeding our children formula vs breastmilk?
Ear Infection- 3-5 times more likely with formula
Respiratory Infection - 2-5 times more likely with formula
SIDS - 3-5 times more likely with formula
Necrotizing Entercolitis - 20 times more likely with formula
Type I (Juvenile) Diabetes - 2-7 times more likely with formula
Diarrhea/Gastroenteritis - 6 times more likely with formula
Risks of Rheumatiod Arthritis, Urinary Tract Infections, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Allergies, Asthma, Obesity, Lymphoma and Hodgkin's Disease are all increased as well when formula is chosen over breastmilk. Additionally, children who are fed formula have IQ's that are 7-10 points lower than children who are breastfed, with the IQ increasing the longer a child is breastfed.

So, first, the formula/drug companies make money by selling formula. Then, they make money when we take our sick, formula fed infants and children for treatment of diseases caused by the formula. Are you getting nauseated yet? We haven't even looked at the risks to mom if she chooses not to nurse.

Moms who are gestational diabetics have twice the risk of developing Type II Diabetes if they do not nurse. They have 1.6 times the risk of developing ovarian cancer and twice the risk of premenopausal breast cancer. They also have increased risk of endometrial cancer, osteoporosis, post-partum hemmorhage and post-partum depression.

So the drug and formula companies really have an excellent business plan: Push the formula so we spend big bucks feeding our children an inferior product. Then make even bigger money treating the illnesses caused by the inferior products (both in the children and the mothers.) And many of the formula companies are owned by drug companies!

This baloney makes me sick. But I have seen the strangest phenomena when I present these facts to patients and coworkers. They get all defensive of the formula and drug companies. This makes no sense to me. I think I'd be hopping mad if I found out I'd been lied to and put my babies' and my own health at risk. But I guess the risk of feeling foolish or uneducated trumps the importance of examining the facts and calling for change.

(sources for this article include www.kellymom.com and www.mamadearest.ca/en/info/risk_and_costs.htm).

Christmas mourning

What a horrible day at work.

I arrived at the ER this morning just in time to hear the overhead page for a "CPR in progress" call to be hitting our doors in 2 minutes. A 44 yr old man had been eating with his family and died suddenly. For the next hour and a half I sat with his family as they cried in shock and grief at this unexpected Christmas morning. My heart just broke for them.

As I was praying silently for them the Lord brought to my rememberence the whole meaning of Christmas. Emmanuel, God made flesh. The infinite God became a finite man so that death would not be the end. So that we could live with Him forever. So that some distant day, this family's Christmas mourning would be turned into dancing.

What a wonderful gift we have in our Savior, and what a wonderful future we have in Him.

Fluffy bums!

Hard to believe that we've been a cloth diapering family for almost 2 yrs. When my wacky sister, Kimberly, started cloth diapering her firstborn (the adorable Libby) we all turned up our noses at her. Cloth diapers went out with wood sided station wagons, right? And then I tried one. And I was hooked. The new diapers are so swell. No stiff plastic pants or ginormous cloth diapered bubble butt. The new diapers have a layer of PUL, a magic fabric that contains wet messiness, but is as soft as regular cloth. Most either snap or velcro at the waist. My sweet dh installed a minishower on the toilet (similar to the sprayer on your sink) and we simply spray any poopies into the potty. A Rubbermaid tub (with a tight sealing lid) in the laundry room solves any stinky issues and they are super simple to clean. Some friends of mine have expressed disgust at the thought of poop and pee in the washing machine, but honestly, if you have a baby, any time you wash their clothes there is poop and pee in the washer.

We started with Fuzzibunz, simple pocket diapers. An outer layer of PUL is matched to an inner layer of moisture wicking microfleece (to keep baby's bum feeling dry). Elastic gussets at the leg hug baby's thighs and snaps make fastening the waist a cinch (no pins!). At the back of the diaper is a small opening between the layers in which you insert, well, an insert (a microfiber or hemp pad for absorbing pee). This makes the pocket diaper system very versatile, as you can add an extra insert if you are heading out on the town or going down for the night.

We loved Fuzzibunz, but I wanted to try all the new stuff when Luke was born (wool, prefolds, Snappis, fitteds, AIO's - the variety is mind boggling). And after trying it all, we came back to Fuzzibunz. So easy, and very daddy and babysitter friendly.

But now, we've switched again. I found a couple of All In Ones (meaning a diaper that has no pocket, the absorbant pad is sewn in) that I adore and can hold up to our heavy pee-ers. So we've switched our stash to all Magic-Alls and Blessed Bottomz. Oh, and Snap EZ Nap EZ stuffable trainers for our older bedwetters (since Pullups are freaky expensive).

And I'm in stash nirvana. I am trying to limit myself from going to some of my favorite cloth diaper sites. I am satisfied with the diapers I have and really don't need any more. Going to www.diaperswappers.com just stirs up lusts I don't need to have.

Lusts? For diapers? Yup. As moms we can easily fall into the trap of coveting for our children's sake. But it is still coveting. My children's diapering needs are covered. So going to oogle at cloth diapers is stirring up a lust in me for something I do not need. God has supplied my needs and those of my children and I should rejoice and give Him thanks for this.