Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Who am I performing for?

So these past few weeks have been frustrating.  I have so many different people telling me so many different things about how to run my home and teach my children.  Many of my friends have been chiding me about "doing too much" and telling me to take it easy, saying that the kids are fine and I don't need to worry. 

Other friends and family have been telling me that my children are "behind" or "socially awkward" (I won't bother pointing out that we know our oldest is behind due to his dyslexia and are spending loads of time and money to help him.  Nor shall I ascend my soapbox to pontificate ahout how homeschool  is always assumed to be the cause of misbehavior by homeschoolers, but public school is never blamed for social awkwardness in its denizens.) 

Another family member told me that he was concerned that homeschooling seemed to be more about my identity as a homeschooling mom than about what is best for my children.

Last night I was about ready to throw in the towel.   Take the kids down to Glenn Harmon and enroll them today.  Heck, Gabe qualifies for speech preschool 5 days a week, so I could just have the baby for two days a week and just Luke and Leah for 3.  And with all the people on both sides telling me how I am failing, it might be a relief to shove off the responsibility on someone else.  I fantasized about free time to sew, and clean house, and run errands with just a kid or two.

But I'm not ready to do that.  In my heart I know that this is the path God has for our pfamily right now.  Even though it would be easier to take the normal route, it is not what God has chosen for me.  And I have to remind myself of who my audience is. 

It's not my homeschooling friends.  If at some point we decide to pursue other educational pathways for our kids I know some of my friends will think I have missed God's leading and will be disappointed in me.

It's not my friends or family that blame all my kids' issues on homeschooling.  They do not have to answer to God for me.

It's the Lord.  He alone is the One I have to answer to.  The only One whose approval I should crave.

Now, it is wise to consider counsel.  It is always prudent to take criticism to the Lord and ask Him if there is anything valid or applicable in it.  But ultimately, we should be more in tune with His leading and His voice than the voices of the crowd.  


sophiaofthrace said...

Thanks for this! <3

Catherine Bennet said...


Heather said...

Sometimes I think the criticisms and questions make us even more confident in our decisions too. When we really evaluate WHY we are doing something, we can be certain that it's for the right reasons.

Jean said...

Very thoughtful post Tamara, and as you insightfully concluded. It is to God alone, we each must answer for the choices we make. Pray, seek, trust, listen....that is the best any of us can do. I know you are doing those things.

If at some point, you do decide to try public or private school...it does NOT mean you or homeschooling has failed...it may be that God has guided you into various seasons of the educational process for a reason. The doubters will probably go ahead and doubt. (I learned a long time ago that critics always have their comments)

Tamara, no one else knows your heart and no one else knows what is best. While others have their opinions, it is you as a couple who are responsible and must decide what is best for your family. Be strong and courageous as you heed His voice.

Love you all

Aimee said...